For Mormons, having fun includes serving

When I first became a Mormon, someone asked what I did for fun, since I didn’t drink, smoke, use drugs, or participate in a number of other activities common to college students. When I teasingly—but truthfully–told him I’d been on a hayride the night before, he stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. He didn’t think that sounded like fun, but it had been (and it was where I met my husband, making it even more fun in retrospect.) I became Mormon the last year of high school, and soon after starting to visit Mormon activities, I said to a friend, “I’ve figured out why Mormon teens don’t get into trouble. They don’t have time.” I was always busy with the Church’s many activities for teens, including dances, parties, sports, service projects, campouts, and canoe trips.. There was always something fun to do and something new to work on.

As an adult, I don’t find my life limited at all by the things I can’t do, because the things I can do keep me very busy and entertained. Fun is a subjective thing and we enjoy what we’re good at and do regularly by choice. As children and young people, we are exposed to a variety of choices and from those we choose the things we like best. Our adults lives are filled with the hobbies and activities we discovered when we were young as well as the ones we added as adults. No one can do everything the world has to offer, and I personally try not to worry too much about the things I can’t do. To be honest, those things never appealed to me anyway. I saw early on how immorality impacted those around me, and long before I was Mormon, I decided not to make life harder on myself than it needed to be.

Mormons have many options for good clean fun. Many Mormons love music—singing, dancing, and playing instruments. Yes, Mormons can dance. Brigham Young University, a Mormon-owned college, has a very successful ballroom dance team and a variety of other dance programs. Chesea Hightower is a professional dancer who appeared on So You Think You Can Dance. Mormon teens have regular dances they can attend at no cost.

Many Mormons enjoy sports. Basketball is a regular part of the youth programs for both boys and girls and Mormons of all ages play a variety of sports as hobbies or professionally. Brigham Young University is noted for its ability to produce outstanding quarterbacks.

Sometimes the youth sports programs look a little different from your average youth league, however. Everyone plays, no matter how good or bad she is. I remember a game in which a mentally challenged girl was taking her turn on the court. Whenever she got the ball, she simply handed it to a teammate, which was accepted even if she took a few steps to do it. However, one day she unexpectedly turned toward the basket and everyone realized she was going to shoot. Both teams stopped moving, without being told to do so, and waited patiently while she worked up the courage to let the ball go toward the basket. No one intercepted the shot and everyone cheered for her, even though she missed the basket. That’s what makes Mormon games different—it’s a people-first program.

If you spend any time hanging around Mormon congregations, you’ll note they’re extremely fond of parties, and even tend to turn meetings into parties, given that they’re nearly incapable of holding the simplest, shortest meetings without serving refreshments and allowing time to eat and socialize. Of course, the parties might not be quite what you’re used to since there is no alcohol, and many of them—most of them, actually—include even the youngest family members. They tend to have games, chatter, and entertainment. At a typical party, you might learn to hula dance, be introduced to food and music of another country, listen to surprisingly good singing and violin playing, or play a silly family game. Sound corny? It grows on you, and when you wake up the next morning, you don’t have a headache and you can remember everything you did.

Mormons also find service projects fun, because they know how to make them fun. When I was new to the Church, I was invited to help out a new family who had just moved in. The mother had broken her leg and was confined to bed. Nothing was unpacked and everything needed cleaning. It sounded terribly dull and un-fun to me, but I went. To my surprise, I had a great time. We were laughing, singing, and talking as we worked. We helped the children get their rooms unpacked and set up by turning the work into games. Mormons know that everything is a matter of attitude. If you make it fun and are determined to have a good time, it will most likely be fun.

Of course, not all our fun happens at church. Mormons live in their regular communities and participate in them. Because they are a diverse people, they have diverse ways of having fun. They join clubs, tackle community service projects, go on outings with their families, and participate in the hobbies of their choice. They garden, read (for fun and for education) travel, write, paint…anything moral is open to Mormons. And when you start looking, you’ll be surprised at how many moral things there are to do that are fun.

Not convinced? Make a list of all the things you currently do that don’t require you to violate God’s commandments. Then think of things you don’t do but that might be fun, and see how many you can come up with. If all else fails, ask a Mormon if you can tag along when he’s having fun. Once you get used to the types of things they do, you’ll probably discover you’re having a great time with great people. The trick is to first treat it like being a tourist—you don’t expect people in an exotic new country to be doing what you do—and then give it all a fair chance. Chances are you can do the same things you always did, but differently. You can still dance, but you’ll possibly dance to different music and maybe a little differently, for instance. You’ll replace your alcohol with cocoa, but the conversation will still be just as good. After a while, you’ll find out that morality can be a lot of fun. Fun is more a matter of good company and pleasant or meaningful work to do than it is of any particular activity or drink.

Try it.

In the past, many Mormons used the term “free agency” to describe our God-given right to choose for ourselves. Today, church leaders discourage that term, because agency is not free, and they want us to understand this. Instead, they encourage the use of the term “moral agency.”

Agency is not free because it comes with a price—consequences. We may choose what to do, but we may not choose the consequences, nor may we choose how our choices affect others. The consequences may result from eternal laws, or they may be the result of natural consequences. They might even result from choices others make in response to our choices. Each choice we make limits other choices we might have made, for good or for bad. All of this is beyond our control, and so we must train ourselves and our children to look at the big picture when we’re faced with a choice.

Throughout the scriptures, we find examples of people who used their agency and faced the consequences. When Noah preached to the people to repent, they chose to ignore him. He warned them of the impending flood. They continued to ignore him. They had every right to do this. God would not force them to repent. They had to choose for themselves whether or not to trust the prophet. They chose not to do the hard work of finding out whether or not Noah was a true prophet of God, and this was their eternal right. However, they could not choose the consequences of that decision. God had decreed that anyone who did not choose to repent—in effect, anyone who chose not to gain a testimony and then act on the knowledge received—would be killed in the flood. God always keeps His promises. Therefore, while they could choose to ignore the prophet and the need for a testimony, they could not choose to get on the ark anyway once the flood began. When the rain began, and it was too late to repent, some might have felt it was unfair that they couldn’t do a last second “conversion,” but choices have consequences and even time limits. They had a certain amount of time allotted them to gain a testimony that Noah was a true prophet of God, repent of their sins, and live the gospel. Once that time ended, the time for decision was over. They could still repent, but they could not board the ark.

Ordinarily, the choices and their consequences are not so explicitly spelled out for us. They may be more subtle, and we may not be able to easily see the consequences. In order to make sure we’re happy with the results of our choices, we must pray for guidance. God alone knows what the consequences of our choice will be.

However, although prayer should always be a part of our decision-making, we must also practice using wisdom ourselves. We can take time to think through the possibilities to which our choices might lead and then make a decision. Following this, we can take our choice to God for confirmation.

Let’s look at the life of one young man who has to make a decision with short-term consequences, or at least, the consequences seem to be short-term. It’s Thursday. Sam has an important test to take on Friday. He also has a last-minute invitation to attend his first professional football game on Thursday night. He doesn’t feel well-prepared for the test, and would need to study all evening to even have a chance to pass it, but he doesn’t want to miss the game, either. He’s always wanted to go to a professional football game.

Because Sam doesn’t feel he is prepared for the test, we know he has already been making choices that have affected his choice now. Clearly, he has not been keeping up with his studies, regularly putting other things ahead of his coursework. This is why he’s not ready for the test. He can’t undo the past, so he must now deal with the consequences as they stand. The consequences are that because he has not already prepared for the test, he cannot choose the game without seriously harming his grades.

His right to choose has not yet ended. He can still choose the game or the study session. However, his choices have narrowed. Were he well-prepared, he might have been free to attend the game without risking failure. As it stands, though, if he chooses the game, he is most likely choosing to fail the test. The next day, when he sits at his desk, pen in hand, it will be too late for choices. He will take the test with whatever knowledge he has and he will receive the grade he earns. He will be unable to choose the grades, or the results of those grades.

In the future, Sam may recall the results of his choices. He might decide to keep up with his studies, so he can take advantage of interesting opportunities once in a while without harm. He might, however, continue on the path he seems to have chosen and constantly choose other things over his studies. Eventually, these choices will lead to poor grades. Enough poor grades might keep him from being allowed to attend a university, or may even set a pattern he finds it nearly impossible to undo, so that he is            consistently choosing fun over work. While the choice to neglect his studies just once may seem unimportant, the total of many such choices can impact the rest of his life, as he struggles to earn enough money to care for his family and neglects to meet his responsibilities when fun awaits.

A single failed test might seem to only affect Sam. It may, of course, upset his parents, but Sam cannot control this. If he chooses to fail the test, his parents will experience whatever feelings come, and however sad he might be at having hurt them, he won’t be able to prevent it. If he chooses to continue the path of academic destruction, many will be hurt in the future—his parents, his future spouse, and the children he will have. He will not be able to control this.

He may choose to undo these decisions at some point in the future, perhaps developing a work ethic or returning to school under much more difficult circumstances. He cannot, though, undo whatever bad effects happened in the past.

Our choices often set a precedent for future choices. Every choice has a consequence, and one consequence might be the impact the choice has on our character or personality.

Choose a plan for making decisions. Take time to think ahead to short-term and long-term consequences and learn to pray for guidance as you make the choices that will affect your life.

Staying safe is a matter of choices, and to make wise choices, we have to understand the concept of agency. This article will focus on agency, and future articles in this series will walk through the process of using that understanding to make eternally safe choices.

Agency is the right to choose. It is not the right to do anything we want without consequences, however. With every choice comes consequences, and those consequences are beyond our control. We can’t choose how the choices impact us, or their impact on others. Because of this, agency must be accompanied by responsibility.

Satan can’t take our agency from us, but he can encourage us to give up our agency or to weaken our ability to use it well. When we allow someone or something  else to do our thinking for us, when we choose to partake of an activity or substance that dulls our judgment, such as hypnotism, alcohol, or drugs, we are making it harder for the Spirit to reach us, and weakening our ability to choose for ourselves. We’ve chosen to participate in something that is designed to allow others to control us. While we might still break through and avoid doing wrong, we are less inclined to do so because we are not able to have the spirit to guide us. The Holy Ghost cannot be where sin is. This choice to allow another person or substance to control us puts us in danger.

We can also weaken our ability to use our agency wisely when we begin to put too much faith in something or someone other than God. Do we, without prayer, follow the advice of a friend, a popular student, a celebrity, a self-help guru, a club, or a political party, even when their teachings conflict with those of the living prophets? If so, we’re handing over our agency to another, who may not have our best interests at heart, or who may not know eternal truths. When we listen to the counsel of another that conflicts with the teachings of God, we’ve decided this person knows better than God what is right and true, and that we ourselves know someone better than God to trust. This weakens our ability to hear the Spirit, who never yells, but who speaks quietly to those who trust Him.

The ability to listen to the spirit is critical to the wise use of agency. None of us is wise enough to know what is right or wrong on our own. We need the promptings of the spirit to guide us through the many choices offered us every day. The adversary is very smart and is an expert at manipulation. He can take a truth and present it half-way, and so skillfully the twisted version sounds reasonable. Assurances that we are safe, we won’t lose control, or we won’t get hurt can fill our minds and block the gentle reminders of the spirit.

Study the ways Satan uses to manipulate us into following his guidance or giving him our agency as a gift. Pay attention and listen with the spirit, not your emotions, to times when you see others are trying to influence you. What tactics are they using? Why are they using them? What will happen if you fall for the tactics? Are the teachings and arguments in line with the teachings of the gospel?

The only sure way to know how to use your agency well is to pray. A person who is considering becoming a Mormon is assigned by the missionaries to ask God before making their decision. Those born to LDS parents are taught from early childhood to also pray and make their decision based on the advice of the Holy Ghost. Only God can be trusted to give us wise advice for the use of our agency, and it’s critical that we ask Him if He’s there and if we have found His church. It’s important to know how He is communicating with us. In the Bible, we see that God communicated with man through prophets as well as through the spirit. Today, we are again guided by prophets, but we can’t be guided until we know for ourselves there really is a prophet and are able to identify him. We must also learn to recognize what it is like to receive personal revelation from God, so we can trust the answers He gives us.

Agency is a wonderful gift, but it has extraordinary power for both good and evil, depending on how we choose to use it and who we listen to when making our choices.

Robert D. Hales, a high-ranking church official, said,

Agency allows us to be tested and tried to see whether or not we will endure to the end and return to our Heavenly Father with honor. Agency is the catalyst that leads us to express our inward spiritual desires in outward Christlike behavior. Agency permits us to make faithful, obedient choices that strengthen us so that we can lift and strengthen others. Agency used righteously allows light to dispel the darkness and enables us to live with joy and happiness in the present, look with faith to the future, even into the eternities, and not dwell on the things of the past. Our use of agency determines who we are and what we will be. To all who desire to enjoy the supernal blessings of agency, I testify that agency is strengthened by our faith and obedience. Agency leads us to act: to seek that we may find, to ask that we may receive guidance from the Spirit, to knock on that door that leads to spiritual light and ultimately salvation.

(See Robert D. Hales, “To Act for Ourselves: The Gift and Blessings of Agency,” Ensign, May 2006, 4–8.)

Pay special attention to this sentence from his thoughts:

“Our use of agency determines who we are and what we will be.”

This is why the subject of agency matters and why we must devote a great deal of time learning to use it well.

They are not reading through the Book of Mormon rapidly in order to complete the goal. This is a detailed and complex project. As they read, they are to “liken the scriptures unto themselves.” This is a concept that was taught in the Book of Mormon by the first prophet whose writings we have in the Book of Mormon. His name was Nephi. He taught us that as we read the scriptures, we should ask ourselves how we can apply what we find there to our own lives. For instance, a teenager reading the Bible might come to the parable given by Jesus Christ of the lost sheep. She would then ask herself, “Am I a lost sheep right now, or am I a shepherd? What does the Savior want me to do about it?

The girls record their thoughts, experiences, and testimony of what they’re reading in their journals. They can also use this space to evaluate how they’re going to use what they read.

As the read, they are also asked to specifically take notice of writings relating to Jesus Christ, and to notice what He and His followers did to live virtuous lives. At the end of their reading, they are asked to record their testimony of the book.

Mormons do not treat the Book of Mormon as the “Mormon Bible.” The Mormon Bible is the King James version in English, and other popular translations in other languages. The Book of Mormon is a companion to the Bible, serving, as the recently added subtitle says, as another testament of Jesus Christ. The title page, written in ancient times, says the Book of Mormon is written, “And also to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations.”

Nephi wrote in the Book of Mormon: “26 And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.  (2 Nephi 25)

The Book of Mormon, like the Bible, contains a mixture of stories and sermons. From each of these, the teenagers can find role models to guide their own choices, and scriptures that speak to their hearts in moments of challenges and decision.

One role model the girls will encounter is Abish. She worked in the palace. As a convert to Christianity, she faced the daily challenges of living her Christian religion when no one else did. She was forced to keep her beliefs private, but to live them anyway, without support from church leaders or friends. During the time of her service, a young missionary named Ammon came to work for the king as a shepherd. After Ammon saved the king’s flocks, he was brought before the king and given an opportunity to teach the gospel. The king was converted, and the Holy Ghost was so strong, the king lost consciousness. Everyone thought he was dead, but his wife was certain he wasn’t, and called Ammon in to advise her. Ammon prophecied that the king would wake up soon. The queen developed her own testimony and again, the spirit was so strong, both she and Ammon fainted. This was Abish’ moment. Her faith was so strong she knew great miracles would happen, and she wanted others to see them and to be converted. She rushed out to tell everyone to come to the palace.

At first, she must have thought she made a mistake, because everyone began to say terrible things about Ammon and the gospel. However, she was able to awaken the queen, and then the king and Ammon awakened. They preached the gospel and although many left, others stayed and were converted.

Many conversions happened in that day, and it was all due to the courage and faith of a servant girl. From this, the teenagers of today can learn to hold strong to their faith, even if no one around them shares it. They can learn to prepare for opportunities to share their faith and to make a difference in the world simply by doing what they know is right.

Abish and other men and women of the scriptures set an example of virtue Mormon teenagers can follow in their own lives. However complex their lives might be, people throughout history have experienced equally complex challenges and although times change, truth doesn’t. We can apply what those of the past chose to help our own lives.

Reading the entire Book of Mormon in a thoughtful and meaningful way will help Mormon teenagers survive their teen years and prepare for a virtuous life.

The third requirement in the Virtue value is for girls to prepare to attend the temple when they’re grown. As teenagers, they can enter one portion of the temple to participate in a special part of it relating to baptism, but they cannot yet go into the other portions or participate in the other ordinances. However, this is a time of preparation.

Temples are very different from the church’s regular houses of worship. Regular meetinghouses are open to the public and Sunday services are held there. Temples are not used for weekly worship services and are open only to those who have prepared themselves for the experience.

What goes on there isn’t secret, but it is sacred. Sacred things are not to be lightly discussed and are difficult to understand without the proper background. Church members must be adults to attend, with limited exceptions as mentioned above, and must have been a member of the church for at least one year. Through personal interviews, they demonstrate their ability to live the gospel at a high level.

Gordon B. Hinckley, a previous president of the church explained temples this way:

The work that goes on in these buildings sets forth God’s eternal purposes with reference to man-God’s child and creation. For the most part, temple work is concerned with the family, with each of us as members of God’s eternal family and with each of us as members of earthly families. It is concerned with the sanctity and eternal nature of the marriage covenant and family relationships.

It affirms that each man and woman born into the world is a child of God, endowed with something of His divine nature. The repetition of these basic and fundamental teachings has a salutary effect upon those who receive them, for as the doctrine is enunciated in language both beautiful and impressive, the participant comes to realize that since every man and woman is a child of Heavenly Father, then each is a member of a divine family; hence, every person is his brother or sister. (Why These Temples? by President Gordon B. Hinckley)

Another part of the temple activity is the making of high level covenants. While members of the church who have been baptized have already promised God they will do these things, which largely involve responsibility to the family, they now promise to keep them at a higher level and to accept greater penalty from God if they’re violated. Marriages are also performed there, and those married in this way are married for eternity, not until death.

Because the promises made are very serious covenants, a person must be living to a standard that makes it likely he can honor the covenants completely. This takes time and preparation. It also requires a certain level of knowledge.

A person who decides to major in physics will not begin his study in the highest level class meant for graduate students. It’s likely he will begin with a survey class which introduces the important concepts. This is comparable to taking the discussions led by the missionaries for those considering joining the church or who have recently joined. Then he will take more detailed classes, but still containing more introductory material. This is comparable to the Gospel Essentials course, a Sunday School class for new members of the church. It is only after considerable study and time spent in a lab actually doing what the student has learned that he will be admitted to the higher level classes. These classes will presume you come to them with a solid foundation in the basics and know how to carry out responsible experiments. A church member will come to the temple with a high level of gospel knowledge and considerable experience living the commandments of God. He is now ready to take on more challenging commitments and to understand more detailed instruction on the basic principles.

To help the teenagers prepare, they are asked, as part of completing the Virtue Value requirements, to read from the book of Alma, a part of the Book of Mormon. Chapter five teaches readers how to be saved. The girls are asked to note the questions Alma asked those who were listening to his sermon and to apply them to their own lives. This helps them to do a personal evaluation of their own level of obedience to God’s commandments and to set goals for increasing their love and obedience.

Alma asks the following questions:

14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?

15 Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?

16 I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?

The Bible teaches “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21, KJV of the Bible) As the girls increase their ability to live the gospel, they demonstrate the depth of their love for God. Good works alone can’t save them; they must be done out of love for God and Jesus Christ, and are therefore a reflection of that love and their commitment to God.

Following their study, the girls are asked to set personal goals that will help them improve how they live their lives. By studying for themselves, selecting their own goals, and working out how to accomplish them, they prepare themselves for adulthood. They make a personal commitment to follow God’s teachings and this strengthens their testimonies and their faithfulness.

The second requirement focuses on the Holy Ghost, called by some the Holy Spirit. The requirement reads:

Virtuous living “at all times and in all things, and in all places” qualifies you for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. When you are baptized and confirmed, you are given the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide all aspects of your life. Since the Holy Ghost does not dwell in unclean tabernacles, living a virtuous life is a prerequisite to having the companionship of the Holy Ghost and receiving the blessings of temple ordinances. Read the following scripture references, and identify the promised blessings: John 14:26-27; John 15:26; 2 Nephi 32:1-5; D&C 45:57-59; D&C 88:3-4; and D&C 121:45-46. In your journal, record what you have learned, and write about a time when you felt the guidance of the Holy Ghost.

Mormons teach that all people are entitled to the Spirit of Christ and the influence of the Holy Ghost to help them make choices and recognize truth. Once baptized, they may receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost to be with them at all times if they are worthy. This means they must be striving to live according to God’s teachings. While they won’t be perfect, this should be an ongoing goal, and when the Holy Ghost warns them of error, they must pay attention.

We believe the Spirit of Christ comes to all men and women. This is distinct from the gift of the Holy Ghost.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught, “There is a difference between the Holy Ghost and the gift of the Holy Ghost.” Many outside the Church have received revelation by the power of the Holy Ghost, convincing them of the truth of the gospel. Through this power sincere investigators acquire a testimony of the Book of Mormon and the principles of the gospel before baptism. However, administrations of the Holy Ghost are limited without receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Those who possess the gift of the Holy Ghost after baptism and confirmation can receive more light and testimony. This is because the gift of the Holy Ghost is “a permanent witness and higher endowment than the ordinary manifestation of the Holy Spirit.” It is the higher endowment because the gift of the Holy Ghost can act as “a cleansing agent to purify a person and sanctify him from all sin.” (James E. Faust, “Born Again,” Ensign, May 2001, 54)

When a person is deciding whether or not to become a Mormon, they are taught to pray and consult God, who is the source of all truth. He responds to them through the Holy Ghost. Those who are “born” into the church are still counseled to pray for a testimony of their own, and not to simply rely on the testimony of their parents or friends.

This virtue requirement helps the youth learn how to be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost every moment of the day and night. They work to cleanse their lives of anything that might make them unworthy.

By studying the scriptures listed, they become more knowledgeable about their beliefs, one of the core steps for gaining a testimony. Recording their thoughts in their journals helps them to track the progress of their faith journey and to be able to return to it when they are feeling weak.

One of the scriptures the youth are asked to read and contemplate is this, taken from the King James version of the Holy Bible:

26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14)

This scripture introduces the Holy Ghost to the apostles and outlines His primary purposes: The confirmation of truth and the comfort of God’s presence. These two gifts are among the most essential for getting through our time on earth successfully. It’s critical that we learn what is true, and only God can tell us that. Because life is hard, comfort can help us make it through the hardest times without losing faith.

The teenagers are shown, throughout their entire program, to remain worthy of the greatest gifts God has to offer us. They learn to live by God’s rules, not the ever-changing rules of man, even when it’s difficult. They learn how to find trustworthy role-models. They learn that they are children of God and are loved by Him.

Each week, the girls recite the following theme, which they are encouraged to use as a guide for their own life:

“We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. We will “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith

Divine Nature

Individual Worth

Knowledge

Choice and Accountability

Good Works, and

Integrity.

We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.”

Knowledge of these essential truths give the girls the courage and resolution to remain worthy of the Holy Ghost every day of their challenging teenage years and their adult lives to come.

“Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue includes modesty-in thought, language, dress, and demeanor. Virtue provides an anchor on the path leading to our Heavenly Father’s presence. The paths of virtue lead to happiness in this life and in the life to come. The paths of virtue lead to strong families. The paths of virtue contain the foundation stones for the blessings of eternity. They lead to the temple. No wonder Joseph Smith said, “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things” (Articles of Faith 1:13).

Elaine S. Dalton, “Cherish Virtue,” New Era, Mar 2009, 16-17

Within the church, virtue is not mocked or seen as outdated or unrealistic. Sister Dalton points out there are millions of young men and women around the world leading lives of virtue of their own choosing. Despite the pressures of the world, and the “assurances” of some irresponsible adults, these teenagers know it is entirely possible to live a life of moral purity if you are careful in your choices and if you plan for the standards you want to live.

LDS teenagers are taught to guard against anything that might cause them to risk their virtue. They are taught to carefully consider the videos and music they spend time with, to avoid locations that invite temptation, and to choose friends who respect their values. They learn not to date too soon, and then to avoid dating situations that can cause them to falter.

Teenagers are helped by a booklet given to them when they turn twelve, called “For the Strength of Youth.” In this booklet, they are given guidelines for living a virtuous life. A card with the highlights is placed in their wallets for instant reference when needed.

Following are some of the advice the youth are given in this book:

• 1. Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. Dating before then can lead to immorality, limit the number of other young people you meet, and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner.
• 2. Have the courage to walk out of a movie or video party, turn off a computer or television, change a radio station, or put down a magazine if what is being presented does not meet Heavenly Father’s standards. Do these things even if others do not.
• 3. Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient.

Some advice is general in nature, other advice is very specific. Taken as a whole, it gives a teenager a clear understanding of what God expects of them and of how to guard their virtue. The rules apply to both boys and girls. The Lord does not have different standards of virtuous behavior for one gender over the other. Both boys are girls are given full responsibility for their own virtue, while at the same time, they’re taught to help others maintain their virtue as well.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll take a look at the virtue and how the girls will be learning to implement it into their lives through the Personal Progress program.

Each section of the program is defined by a value the church would like the girls to develop in their own lives. Currently, the values are: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual, Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works and, Integrity. Recently, virtue was also added as a value.

The motto for this program is “Stand for truth and righteousness.” The logo is a lit torch, representing the light of Christ. The girls are encouraged to remember, through this logo, to keep the commandments of God, thus holding up the light of Jesus Christ.

The girls participate in the program between the ages of twelve and eighteen. During the program, they complete six value experiences and one value project for each of the values. They are also required to keep a journal, maintain high moral standards, and put their testimony in writing.

Experiences are smaller activities the girls choose from to help them improve their ability to follow the Savior. Following are some examples of experiences the girls can choose from:

• Girls can plant, grow, and harvest a vegetable garden. As the do so, they’re to focus on the teaching that faith is like a seed. They are to study how this is so as they work in their garden.
• Girls can choose to spend two weeks strengthening their relationship with a family member, including refraining from criticism.
• Girls can record their goals for their life, and then make a plan to help them reach those goals.
• Girls can perform a three hour service project that benefits people outside their own home.

In addition to the experiences, girls also plan a series of more complex projects. They do one project for each value and each project must require ten hours or more to complete. This means that over the course of their teen years, they will devote eighty hours to these projects. Project possibilities include:

• 1. Receive training in first aid or other emergency response skills.
• 2. Plan a dance or activity that includes dance training and wholesome music, atmosphere, and lighting.
• 3. Learn how to be admitted to college and how to pay for it. Apply at the appropriate time.
• 4. Learn a homemaking skill and then teach it to someone else.

Girls work with their youth leaders and parents in planning and carrying out the program. They’re expected to follow appropriate patterns of planning so they emerge from the program ready for adulthood and its responsibilities. If they finish the program early, they can continue to work on additional projects. They can also offer to help another girl with her program, which again teaches leadership and service.

Because the Mormons have a lay church, everyone serves. By beginning to train our young women to serve others, to lead, and to be independent and self-reliant, we prepare them for all the demands of adult life, marriage, parenthood, church leadership, and community service, as well as careers.

To find ourselves, we don’t have to travel to a foreign country or hang out with people who frighten our parents. We need to look to our heritage. We are all children of God, and we can’t find ourselves until we start looking in the places where He lives. When we begin our search with our creator, we soon figure out there really is a purpose to this life, and it’s a wonderful one.

God planned for us to come to earth, and it wasn’t a random science experiment. We had lived with Him before our birth, and had grown and progressed during that time. We had talents and personality and interests, some of which came with us to earth. But we needed more. We needed a body and a family. We needed to test ourselves, to see if we could keep it all together when we were away from Home. So He sent us here.

To find ourselves, we need to look at who we really are. We’re a child of God. What does that mean? As children of Heavenly Parents, we have a divine and royal heritage. Did you ever dream of being a prince or a princess? God is your king, and so your dream has come true. However, being this type of a prince or princess doesn’t mean dressing up in fancy clothes or waving to adoring crowds. It comes with responsibility. We have a responsibility to live up to the standards God set for us, to become everything He dreamed of for us.

So how do we do all of this? First, we have to put some work into the preparation. How much time every day do you spend learning about God and Jesus? If you aren’t spending any time with them, and the time isn’t meaningful, you aren’t going to have any idea how much they love you or what they want from you. You need to get to know them by reading scriptures, studying the words of their chosen leaders, and praying in meaningful ways.

Only a personal prayer that is spoken in the words of your own heart can teach you how to communicate with God. Say what’s in your heart and don’t turn to pre-written prayers or repetitious phrases. Then sit quietly and listen for answers. They come in the form of peaceful feelings or uneasy ones, but they are the clues about whether or not you’re making the right choices. If you tell God what you have planned, and you feel warm and safe inside when you’re sitting quietly and waiting for the answer, you know He’s pleased with your choice. If you’re uneasy as you wait, or as you carry out the plans you made without waiting, you’ll know you’re on the wrong path. The Holy Ghost places those feelings in your heart. He can also give you a reassurance of God’s love for you.

The next thing we have to do is to spend our time in meaningful ways. Visit God at least once a week in his home-go to church. Why not a Mormon church, which has a strong program for Mormon teenagers and their friends? Spend time serving his other children. Serving others helps us find ourselves more quickly than sitting and thinking does. From service, we learn to appreciate what we have. We see in those we help a model of courage, strength, and humility. We give something back for what we’ve received. We even learn more about how God feels when He’s helping us, and we learn more about what we’re capable of.

There is, of course, a place for introspection. Many people find it helpful to keep a journal. Rather than simply recording what they did, they record how those activities made them feel, what they learned from them, and how they plan to improve in what they’re doing. They pay attention, in their writing, to who they are becoming. If they whine about service, they might later notice this is a place they can improve. If they do three service projects and one of them has them so fulfilled and excited they can’t wait to do it again, they may have found a passion or a talent.

Identifying passions is part of finding ourselves, but it’s important to find a passion worthy of a child of a royal heritage. Feeding the hungry, teaching a child, planting a garden…these are passions worthy of a child of God.

When you find your passions, and you know your God, you’ll find yourself.

The button labeled “Read” takes you to material from the New Era, a shiny magazine just for teenagers. You can subscribe to it, but it’s also free on the Internet. A story is featured each month on this part of the website, and there is a link to the archives, where you can read more. This magazine is about ordinary teenagers, as well as those who are Mormon and famous, but it’s primary purpose is to help teens as they learn to be more Christ-like in an increasingly challenging world.

A major stage production was produced to launch the website and the new year, and by clicking the Watch button, you can take a peek at the rehearsals, watch what happened backstage, and see pictures of each of the performances.

Then watch the show. You can watch it in segments, allowing you to see it as you have time. It’s a mixture of music and thoughts by teenagers, who talk about things Mormon youth have done throughout the previous years—which can give you ideas for things you can do yourself—and also help them make great plans for the coming year. If you like the music, you can download the MP3s at no charge, and even put widgets on your online spaces, such as Facebook or your website.

Do you have some goals for the coming year? Print out and sign commitment cards you can place in your bedroom, your notebook, or anywhere else you’ll see them often. These will help you become who you want to become.

Are you studying the scriptures this year? Click on the resources button and find links to the books of scriptures used by Mormon teens, including the King James Bible. On the individual pages for each book of scripture, you’ll find fun things to help you study—reading charts, bookmarks, games, even music.

This website will give you a glimpse into how Mormon teenagers live their lives. If what they do looks fun to you, you’re always welcome to drop in for a visit. Most wards (congregations) have a weeknight activity open to anyone who wants to attend. They also have Sunday classes and often have activities on Saturday as well. There are summer camps and youth conferences, dances, fireside devotionals, and early morning scripture study classes. There are service projects going on regularly. Boys participate in the Boy Scouts. In other words, there is so much to do you won’t have time to be bored or to get into trouble. There’s no commitment, and almost everything can be done by people who aren’t members of the church. If you don’t know any Mormons, you can contact the church and learn where to go by visiting Find a Meetinghouse. From there, someone will be happy to tell you what’s happening and meet you at the door when you arrive. From there, other teens will take you under their wings and show you what to do.