Using Agency Wisely: Consequences
Filed under: For the Strength of the Youth, Life Lessons, Making Decisions, Old Testament
In order to learn to make wise use of our eternal gift of agency, we must understand that each choice we make has consequences. These consequences can affect our entire lives and even our eternities. They also affect others. When we learn to evaluate the consequences of our choices, we are better able to make wise choices and get the most from our agency.
In the past, many Mormons used the term “free agency” to describe our God-given right to choose for ourselves. Today, church leaders discourage that term, because agency is not free, and they want us to understand this. Instead, they encourage the use of the term “moral agency.” Read more
Eternally Safe Choices–Undertanding Agency
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Discovering Yourself, Finding joy within the gospel, For the Strength of the Youth, Living the Gospel, Making Decisions, Peer Pressure, Teens & Seminary
The teen years are filled with temptation. The media, peers, even teachers and other adults can try to convince a young person that sin is okay, natural, normal, and fun. For a teenager with high standards and an eye for eternity, it can be a challenge to stay on the right path, when so many people are determined to take her off that path. Fortunately, God and His servants have outlined effective ways for teens—and adults—to stay safe.
Staying safe is a matter of choices, and to make wise choices, we have to understand the concept of agency. This article will focus on agency, and future articles in this series will walk through the process of using that understanding to make eternally safe choices. Read more
Teens: Finding Tender Mercies in Trials
Filed under: For the Strength of the Youth, Life Lessons, Living the Gospel
“But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance” (1 Nephi 1:20).
I’ve been thinking about tender mercies a lot lately. They’ve been thrust up in my face lately. In a good way, that is.
We all have trials. It’s simply a way of life, and one of the most effective ways for us to learn and grow spiritually. Sometimes we bring these trials on ourselves through our own choices. Other times the harsh lessons of life are learned through the choices of others, and the effects of those choices on us.
Closely connected to both of these are the lessons we learn through experiences our Heavenly Father asks us to endure.
Recently someone known by my family lost a son-in-law in a plane crash. This son-in-law and his wife had recently had a baby. The crash was tragic, heart-rending, and world shattering for those who loved him. It took the couple’s bishop (lay clergyman) to help this young widow and the extended family search for the tender mercies of the Lord. He told them if they looked they could find little ways in which they were being prepared for this awful event. The bishop encouraged each family member to write these things down, so they might be strengthened in their struggles.
So what are the tender mercies of the Lord? David A. Bednar, latter-day apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church), asks and answers this very question.
“Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits ‘his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men’ (D&C 46:15)” (David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord,” Ensign, May 2005, 99).
As teens in this world today, you are asked to endure, to fight against, to protect yourself from things your parents can barely begin to imagine, just as their parents could not comprehend what being a teen was like all those years ago. You have been saved for this time, because your spirits are vastly strong. If you choose to follow the Lord’s way, Satan will be hard pressed to sway you otherwise. Unfortunately, this will not stop him from trying.
They key word in that paragraph is choose. We always have a choice. If we continually strive to choose the Lord’s way, He will prepare us and strengthen us through His tender mercies, “to make [us] mighty even unto the power of deliverance.” In fact, I know that even when we haven’t been following His path, He will often send us strength through reminders to come back to Him.
My challenge to you is the same of the bishop who counseled the grieving family. If you have been, are now, or will one day face trials that seem unbearable, take time out to actively look for the tender mercies of the Lord. Look for ways you were prepared beforehand. Search for things that are helping you now. Be ready to recognize the little blessings that are to come. It may take time for some of us to find the good things, but with much prayer and practice, looking for tender mercies can become second nature.
Then, perhaps, we can say with firm testimony, “Each of us can have eyes to see clearly and ears to hear distinctly the tender mercies of the Lord as they strengthen and assist us in these latter days. May our hearts always be filled with gratitude for His abundant and tender mercies” (David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord,” Ensign, May 2005, 99).
Teens: Is Being a Little Off Course Okay?
Filed under: For the Strength of the Youth, Life Lessons, Living the Gospel, Peer Pressure
“It can’t hurt.”
“Try it just this once.”
“It’s not like taking one drink/puff/shot/etc. will make you addicted.”
Heard these phrases before? Odds are you have, or will, at some time of your life. Yet caving into any of the phrases, these pressure-filled persuaders, can cause us to become vastly off course.
My husband, a bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church), was directed to put together a talk (sermon) to give to the ward (local congregation) on many different subjects. All of these subjects came back to one main theme:
Are we doing all that is necessary to keep us in alignment with God’s eternal plan?
In our search for stories and other things to help keep the flow of the talk, my husband came across a perfect example of what happens when we find ourselves even a little off course. This was related through another talk given by a modern day apostle by the name of Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
“In 1979 a large passenger jet with 257 people on board left New Zealand for a sightseeing flight to Antarctica and back. Unknown to the pilots, however, someone had modified the flight coordinates by a mere two degrees. This error placed the aircraft 28 miles (45 km) to the east of where the pilots assumed they were. As they approached Antarctica, the pilots descended to a lower altitude to give the passengers a better look at the landscape. Although both were experienced pilots, neither had made this particular flight before, and they had no way of knowing that the incorrect coordinates had placed them directly in the path of Mount Erebus, an active volcano that rises from the frozen landscape to a height of more than 12,000 feet (3,700 m).
As the pilots flew onward, the white of the snow and ice covering the volcano blended with the white of the clouds above, making it appear as though they were flying over flat ground. By the time the instruments sounded the warning that the ground was rising fast toward them, it was too late. The airplane crashed into the side of the volcano, killing everyone on board.
It was a terrible tragedy brought on by a minor error—a matter of only a few degrees” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “A Matter of a Few Degrees,” Ensign, May 2008, 57–60).
Again he relates what getting just a bit off course can truly mean.
“Even small errors over time can make a dramatic difference in our lives.
Let me share with you how I taught the same principle to young pilots.
Suppose you were to take off from an airport at the equator, intending to circumnavigate the globe, but your course was off by just one degree. By the time you returned to the same longitude, how far off course would you be? A few miles? A hundred miles? The answer might surprise you. An error of only one degree would put you almost 500 miles (800 km) off course, or one hour of flight for a jet.
No one wants his life to end in tragedy. But all too often, like the pilots and passengers of the sightseeing flight, we set out on what we hope will be an exciting journey only to realize too late that an error of a few degrees has set us on a course for spiritual disaster” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “A Matter of a Few Degrees,” Ensign, May 2008, 57–60).
We could probably take a little sniff, or puff, or drink, and we’d be done with it. It would not have hurt us in a moment. There is, however, another ending to the story, one those who try to pressure us into doing something wrong tend to gloss over. You could take one drink, and feel the need to drink for the rest of your life. You could take one puff, and spend your days using close to a thousand dollars a year or more to keep up the habit. You could take one sniff, and find yourself one day desperately entrenched in a life of crime just to support the very thing that has taken over your existence.
Essentially, you could find yourself vastly off course, with little or no hope of finding your way back.
When others begin chirping in your ear to just give it a try, think about whether or not you really want to take that chance. More often than not you’ll be giving away basic freedoms. Your life will be dominated by the very things those ‘friends’ promised wouldn’t hurt you.
When speaking to my youth girls about standing strong in the face of having to make a choice, we talked about things you can say. This is a vital step in protecting yourself, in staying on course. It’s only when you’ve prepared yourselves ahead of time that you can truly help yourself to say no, and stick to it. Things like, “Can you promise me I won’t become addicted? Can you promise me this won’t hurt me if I try it just once?” You might be surprised to find it’ll stop the person just long enough for you to make an escape.
When we make the right choices, when we stand by those things that God would have us do, we will not find ourselves vastly off course. If we cave in just a little, it’s possible (not to mention easier) to make a course correction early on through repentance. Once we recognize the need to make conscious decisions to stay on God’s path, we will remain in alignment with Him.
Teens: Go Forward With Faith
Over the last several weeks we’ve gone over some of the areas teens today should especially guard against to maintain a true sense of happiness and self worth. Prophets over the ages have warned and pled with the youth to be observant of their thoughts and actions. It’s when we begin to think we’re okay that our spiritual armor begins to slip.
Agency and accountability. Gratitude. Education. Family. Friends. Dress and appearance. Entertainment and the media. Music and dancing. Language. Dating. Sexual purity. Repentance. Honesty. Sabbath Day observance. Tithes and offerings. Physical health. Service to others. We’ve discussed all of these things, though perhaps not in as much detail as each of these subjects warrant.
Leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed the Mormon Church, placed these topics in a booklet titled For the Strength of Youth as a guide and warning to help teens today navigate through these morally treacherous times.
Take a moment to ask yourself, “Am I living the way the Lord wants me to live?” Each of these standards presented are there to help you make correct choices. Making good choices, even if they seem like the hardest thing in the world to do, will work towards making your life happier and helping you to deal with the hard times.
In addition to the areas listed above, we are encouraged to continue in certain other daily activities that will further increase our spiritual armor. First is daily prayer.
“To help you become all that the Lord wants you to become, get on your knees each day and express to Him the desires of your heart. He is the source of all wisdom, and you need His help. He will hear and answer you” (For the Strength of Youth, p.40).
When Christ visited the Americas, an account of which can be read in the Book of Mormon – another testament of Jesus Christ, he “commanded them that they should not cease to pray in their hearts” (3 Nephi 20:1).
How often do you think of your Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ during the day? Is it only when you kneel down at night to pray? Prayer should happen more than once or twice a day. We should pray first thing in the morning, over our meals, in times of trouble, in times of joy. We don’t have to be on our knees when it happens. So long as we keep a reverent feeling at the time we find ourselves in need of praying. It takes practice to keep in constant communication with our Heavenly Father, but it can happen.
Next we are cautioned to read our scriptures daily. “They are a powerful source of personal revelation and a constant strength to your testimony” (p.40). Do you need an answer to a question or problem you’re facing? Try reading your scriptures. You’d be amazed at what insight can be revealed to you.
“Be true to the Lord…in all circumstances…. Be humble and willing to listen to the whisperings of the Spirit. Place the wisdom of the Lord above your own wisdom” (For the Strength of Youth, p.40).
It’s not easy to choose the way of the Lord in every circumstance of our lives. Too many times we let what others think guide our thoughts and actions. If these choices go against what we’ve been taught by the Lord, more often than not it will only end in misery. The Lord wants us to be happy. Choosing His way will help us make it.
This post is titled ‘Go Forward With Faith.’ Faith is not just a hope. It’s what we do with that hope. Faith is an action word. We have to put our faith to the test in order for it to become strong. In particular we need to show faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is His work we are doing here on earth, but we have to choose to follow His path.
“When you do these things, the Lord will make much more out of your life than you can by yourself. He will increase your opportunities, expand your vision, and strengthen you. He sill give you the help you need to meet your trials and challenges. You will find true joy as you come to know your Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, and feel their love for you” (For the Strength of Youth, p.42).
Keep in mind, you don’t have to begin do everything all at once. Not only is it overwhelming, but you’re almost certain to fail by doing too much too soon. Pick one area. Try working on your dress and appearance before you move on to music and dancing. Like everything in this life we need to take things line upon line, and precept upon precept. As we find ourselves mastering one area, we will be more prepared to start a second.
Don’t ever forget how precious you are to your Heavenly Father. He wants you to succeed in this life. He wants to see you become the extraordinary individual He knows you are. Listen to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. It is through his voice you will be guided in the ways that will keep you on the path to lead you back to your Heavenly Father.
Teens: Service to Others
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).
The simple definition of a disciple is to be a follower of Christ. That little statement is quite easy to say, but not quite as easy to accomplish. To be a disciple of Christ almost automatically defines you as a person who serves others, and yet service is often something we shy away from, thinking of it as work rather than a way to show love.
Yet it is those who offer much service, without expecting anything in return, who are some of the most loved people in the world. Our best and brightest example of service is our Lord Jesus Christ. He taught the concept. He lived the concept. Every day of His life was spent serving someone in some way.
Service is one of the greatest hallmarks of followers of Christ. It is so important that leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed the Mormon Church, placed it among a small group of essential standards teens of today should strive to remain strong in, and put these standards in a small booklet. For the Strength of Youth contains these standards, partnered with scripture and wise counsel given as a warning and a guideline to help keep teens out of danger in these treacherous times.
Why is service something we should hold strong to?
“Service to others is one of the most important characteristics of a disciple of Jesus Christ. A disciple is willing to bear other people’s burdens and to comfort those who need comfort” (For the Strength of Youth, p.38).
As an example we are given the account of the Good Samaritan as found in Luke 10:25-37. A man had been beaten, robbed, and left by the side of the road. Two men, a priest and a Levite, both left him in this awful condition. In fact, they hurried off to the other side of the road, keeping as far from this man as possible.
Then came the Samaritan. It should be noted that feelings between the Jews and the Samaritans at the time were hostile, due to circumstances within their history. But Christ taught that this Samaritan was the one who stopped to check on the man. Not only did he stop, but when he witnessed the man’s injured condition he placed the man on his beast, and took him somewhere to be cared for. He even paid the innkeeper extra money for the man’s care, and promised to repay the innkeeper if the money wasn’t enough.
Christ referred to the Samaritan as the neighbor, or the man who showed mercy. Then he tells us to “go and do thou likewise” (Luke 10:37).
“There are many ways to serve others. You can serve in your church assignments and in your home, school, and community. Seek daily the guidance of the Holy Ghost to know whom to serve and how to help meet their needs. Often the most important service is expressed through simple, everyday acts of kindness” (For the Strength of Youth, p.38).
Serving those around us does not have to mean doing huge service projects. Service can mean being a shoulder to cry on, baking cookies for a friend or neighbor, helping your mom or dad do a few chores around the house and yard. Service can mean helping a younger sibling with their homework, reading to someone who’s eyes just don’t work as well anymore, or even mowing someone’s lawn without being asked.
The most amazing thing will happen as you strive to serve those around you.
“You will draw closer to Heavenly Father. Your heart will be filled with love. Your capacities will increase, and your life and the lives of those around you will be blessed” (For the Strength of Youth, p.38).
Before I end I’d like to offer up a challenge. It’s easy to love and serve those who are kind to us. But what about those who are not as kind? What about someone who grinds on your nerves, or is rude and not sorry about it, or who seems to push every button until you want to lash out? It’s not as easy to love them, but the Lord would have us try.
Herein lies my challenge. Find one person who you honestly can’t see loving and look for ways to serve him or her. Be it a family member, someone from school, or a person you know at church, look for ways to serve. Take the matter to the Lord in prayer and sincerely ask for a way to offer up some sort of service. Keep it going for a few weeks at least, and see if your attitude toward that person doesn’t change to something friendlier.
Teens: Physical Health
A young man named Daniel knew, perhaps more than many of us personally know today, the importance of being watchful over what he took into his body. Many of us know the scripture account well. The king had asked for some of the best and brightest children of the land to be brought up in the ways and tongue of the Chaldeans. He even asked for them to be given the same food he ate, which consisted primarily of meat and wine. This was to go on for three years until he could decide whom he wanted to keep in his court.
Daniel and three of his friends didn’t want to eat the king’s meat and wine.
“Prove thy servants, I beseech thee, ten days; and let them give us pulse to eat, and water to drink. Then let our countenances be looked upon before thee, and the countenance of the children that eat of the portion of the king’s meat: and as thou seest, deal with thy servants” (Daniel 1:12-13).
Pulse is food made of grains and seeds. Daniel and his friends knew this would be much healthier than a constant diet of meat. In fact, after the ten days there was a noticeable difference in the countenance of these four young men as compared to all the others who had been gathered. They continued to eat the pulse and drink the water for the remainder of the three years. At that time, not only had they been blessed with health, but with wisdom beyond their years. (Daniel 1:3-20)
We have the Food Pyramid to guide us in how much of what food we’re supposed to take into our bodies. We know that balance is important when choosing the foods we eat. But maintaining our physical health goes far beyond that.
The leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church) put together a booklet called For the Strength of Youth. This booklet is meant to be a guide for teens in today’s world against increasing temptations. One of the topics covered is physical health.
“Eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. When you do all these things, you remain free from harmful addictions and have control over your life. You gain the blessings of a healthy body, an alert mind, and the guidance of the Holy Ghost” (p.36).
Did you ever link a healthy mind and body to allowing the Holy Ghost, or Holy Spirit, to reside with you? Think about that for a minute.
In the Latter-day Saint Church we have additional scripture that further explains how we can take care of our bodies. It was actually a revelation in response to Joseph Smith’s wife’s concern with several of the men smoking tobacco. This revelation is now known as the Word of Wisdom. (For a complete account go to Doctrine and Covenants 89.)
One of the first things warned against is the use of tobacco products. Even just a few years ago we couldn’t fully comprehend the effects tobacco would have not only on those who use it, but those who are exposed to it secondhand. I’ve watched the lasting effects on a loved one whose father smoked cigars. Her lungs have been damaged, she has almost constant bronchitis, and is a victim of severe headaches. All because of a father who didn’t think his smoking was doing any harm.
We’re also warned against drinking coffee or tea, for these can be just as addictive. Countless numbers can’t even face the world until they’ve had their first cup of coffee, yet they don’t see it as being addictive.
Alcohol is a vicious master, and has done vast amounts of damage to people and their families.
“Any form of alcohol is harmful to your body and spirit. Being under the influence of alcohol weakens your judgment and self-control and could lead you to break the law of chastity or other commandments. Drinking can lead to alcoholism, which destroys individuals and families” (For the Strength of Youth, p.36).
Much the same is said of drugs.
“Any drug, chemical, or dangerous practice that is used to produce a sensation or ‘high’ can destroy your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. These include hard drugs, prescription or over-the-counter medications that are abused, and household chemicals” (For the Strength of Youth, p.37).
We know these things are bad for us, and yet too many of us still allow Satan or peers to lead to believe we’d be so much happier if we gave in. Turns out this isn’t true. Ask anyone who’s stealing from loved ones so they can afford their next fix, or the person who just hit and killed someone because they were driving drunk. Look at the so-called stars of today and the misery they’ve placed on themselves by making these wrong choices.
Members of the Latter-day Saint Church are often ridiculed for clean living. Peers would say we’re so restricted by these guidelines we don’t know how to have any real fun. I would like to yell to the world that this is not true! In fact, I can testify that those who choose to live clean are freer, happier, and better off than anyone who smokes that first cigarette, drinks that first beer, or tries drugs for the first time. Why?
You can never become addicted to something you’ve never tried. You will remain the master of your destiny. This choice proves you have more control over the outcome of your life than many of those who are trapped in the nightmare of addiction.
The blessings don’t stop there. Not only will you have a healthy body, but your mind will be sharp, your spirit will remain strong, and like Daniel you will be granted wisdom beyond your years. Does all this sound worth it? I certainly think so.
Teens: Tithes and Offerings
The truth is I don’t know a whole lot about how tithes and offerings work in other churches. I only really know how it works in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed the Mormon Church. I also know it’s important. In fact it’s so important the leaders of the Latter-day Saint Church placed it in a booklet titled For the Strength of Youth. In this booklet are included many areas these leaders feel needed to be particularly addressed for teens of today. These areas are to act as a guideline and warning to help teens navigate through an increasingly difficult world.
So what exactly is tithing? I really like the way it’s described in Deuteronomy 12:6 –
“And thither ye shall bring your burnt offerings, and your sacrifices, and your tithes, and heave offerings of your hand, and your vows, and your freewill offerings, and the firstlings of your herds and of your flocks.”
As we can see from this list a tithing is attributed to things like sacrifice, a vow, a freewill offering. Everything we are blessed with in this life has been a gift of the Lord. In return for this, He asks us to make a freewill offering, or a tithe. How much should we give? To answer this, let’s look in Numbers 18:26.
“When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, even a tenth part of the tithe.” (Italics added.)
A tenth of what we earn is all we are asked to give. So if we earn $10, all the Lord wants back is $1. If we earn $350, all He asks for in return is $35. At times it may feel like paying out a tenth of what you’ve earned feels like so much money. This is when we need to change out attitude in regards to how we pay it, and why.
“Your attitude is important in paying tithing. Pay it because you love the Lord and have faith in Him. Pay it willingly with a thankful heart. Pay it first, even when you think you don’t have enough money to meet your other needs” (For the Strength of Youth, p.34).
I can’t tell you how many times I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if we paid our tithing we wouldn’t have enough money to finish paying the bills. Every single time I made sure that tithing was paid, our bills were covered. Over the years I’ve come to make certain tithing is the first thing that comes out of a paycheck. I have never regretted doing so.
Even teens and children are encouraged to pay their tithing in the Mormon Church. When ‘payday’ comes for my children, I make sure the first thing they do with that money is pay tithing. As a teen I recall many times that my father did the same thing with me. It is easier to do the younger you start.
In our Church tithing money goes into a general fund where it is used for many wonderful things.
“It is a way to help build up God’s kingdom on earth. Tithing is used to build temples and meetinghouses, translate and publish the scriptures, prove Church materials to members, do missionary work, perform temple and family history work, and support seminaries and institutes” (For the Strength of Youth, p.34).
Paired with tithing is fast offerings. Once a month, typically the first Sunday, Mormons are asked to fast for the day. This includes everyone eight and over who are baptized members of the Church.
“A proper fast day observance includes not eating or drinking for two consecutive meals and giving a generous fast offering to help care for those in need. Begin and end your fast with prayer, asking for special help with a specific need” (For the Strength of Youth, p.35).
Of course anyone with health problems who cannot go without two meals should not do this, but in all others it is encouraged. Fasting is a personal choice. There are those who choose to do it and others who do not. Is it important? If we look to the example of the Lord we are shown it is. In Matthew 4:2 we are told He fasted for forty days. Though we are not asked to fast for that long, we are taught that through fasting our physical bodies are made weak so that our spiritual selves might have a chance to commune with God the Father. It is a way to feed our spirits more fully. When our bodies are weak we are, perhaps, made to see what our spirits go through when they are not fed.
Fasting should be done with a purpose. Is there a problem you need help with? Do you have a friend or family member who is struggling or sick, and needs extra help? Try fasting for them, beginning and ending it with prayer. Answers, guidance, and healing can take place.
Those in the Mormon Church are asked to pay something called a ‘fast offering.’ This is normally described as the money we would have spent on the two meals, though many who can afford to do so will often pay more. Parents will pay for their children until they are old enough to pay it for themselves. The money donated for fast offerings go right back into the ward (congregation) to help those who are in need.
Paying tithing and fast offerings are a vital part in showing our gratitude for all that God has given us. It helps us overcome selfishness. We become more receptive to the Spirit. I can also testify that as we strive to pay our tithing and fast offerings, God only blesses us more.
Teens: Sabbath Day Observance
The Sabbath day is a special day. In fact, it is so special the Lord created a commandment to remind us to treat it differently than all other days.
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy” (Exodus 20:8).
Sadly the Sabbath no longer means what it used to for a lot of people, but it doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. In fact, if the rest of your family doesn’t look to making Sunday a special day, you can set a wonderful example for them.
There is a booklet put out by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church) called For the Strength of Youth. Like its’ name implies, it was put together primarily to help teens of today remain strong against increasing temptations. One of the most powerful ways is through how we strive to keep the Sabbath day holy.
“The Lord has given the Sabbath day for your benefit and has commanded you to keep it holy. Observing the Sabbath will bring you closer to the Lord and to your family. It will give you needed rest and rejuvenation” (p.32).
There are so many things we can do on the Sabbath that can help us keep this commandment.
“Worship the Lord, attend church, spend quiet time with your family, study the gospel, write letters, write in your journal, do family history work, and visit the sick or homebound” (p.32).
The list does not stop here. Think about the music you listen to on Sunday. Does it reflect the Lord and His teachings? Think about the movies or television shows you choose to watch. Are they uplifting and encourage the Holy Spirit to reside with you?
Think about how you dress on Sunday – and I’m talking all day Sunday. There is a tendency to rush home from church and quickly change into something more ‘comfortable.’ This usually means everyday clothes. The interesting things about remaining in what I term ‘church clothes’ is it helps keep your mind geared towards the spiritual.
What are church clothes? For girls it is a modest skirt and shirt, or dress. For guys it’s a nice pair of slacks with a white, collared shirt and a tie. If a teen is unable to afford a nice dress or shirt and tie, they are encouraged to wear whatever is best and cleanest. I have known many a youth – and even some adults – who have come to church in their nicest jeans, and that’s okay. Let your dress reflect a spiritual mindset.
A big issue in keeping Sunday a special, especially with Mormons, is being made to work, especially because more often than not they end up missing church. Many are forced to work due to the nature of their jobs. It is important to talk with your employer and let him/her know you’d rather not work on Sunday. If it’s just not possible, ask if you could have the schedule set to allow you to attend church. There are many employers who would be happy to work with you, and who will respect you more for these personal convictions.
The Sabbath day is meant to be a day of rest, but not the sort of rest you might think. It can be just as busy as any other day, but we need to fill it with things of a more spiritual nature. Don’t treat it like a holiday to be spent sleeping in, going to movies, attending sports events, etc. Fill it with things that will strengthen your spiritual side. Let your friends (and family if they don’t observe it) know how you want to spend the Sabbath day so they’ll not try to persuade you to do something that’s not appropriate.
What will happen if you strive to keep the Sabbath day holy? You will be brought closer to the Lord. Not only that but you’ll find your abilities to handle everyday life stronger. Temptations will be easier to pass up, and more peace will enter your lives. It’s worth it, I promise.
Teens: Honesty
I distinctly recall walking through the grocery store with my family when I was younger. This was in a time when there would be giant displays of food items out in the open, tempting little fingers. Mine were definitely tempted as we passed a large bin full of individually wrapped caramels. They did this around Halloween time to dip apples for a great treat. I personally thought the caramel itself would be a fantastic treat and I grabbed one.
A part of me obviously knew it was wrong, as I attempted to hide my action by trying to unwrap the caramel with my sleeves covering my hands. For any of you who have ever tried unwrapping a caramel knows, they don’t unwrap quietly. My father looked back and immediately knew what was going on (parents are tricky that way).
Later on I found myself in my room with the words, “I want you to think about what you did” echoing in my ears. The funny thing is, I did. I thought long and hard about why I had thought taking the caramel would be okay. I really contemplated why it was the wrong thing to do. When my father came back in to talk with me, I think a part of him was surprised that I had done exactly as he had asked.
This was certainly not the last time I had difficulties with honesty, though I never stole again. For some reason my lessons in honesty had to come the hard way – through experience as opposed to learning through the examples and cautions of others. I was about fourteen before I realized the need to take control of the untrue words that came out of my mouth.
Why is being honest so important? First and foremost it’s a commandment. In fact, it’s two commandments.
“Thou shalt not steal…Thou shalt not bear false witness” (Exodus 20: 15-16).
There is a booklet called For the Strength of Youth put out by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church). In this booklet are several areas they felt most impressed by the Spirit of the Lord to write about in order to help guide teens of today in navigating through a time of much temptation. Honesty is one of those areas.
“Be honest with yourself, others, and the Lord. When you are honest in every way, you build strength of character that will allow you to be of great service to God and others. You will be blessed with peace of mind and self-respect. When you are honest, you will be trusted by the Lord and by those around you” (p.31).
Perhaps it sounds a bit unrealistic, the thought of being completely honest, especially if you’ve spent a lot of time being dishonest. I can testify that change is possible. I personally know you can find peace and self-respect, become trusted by the Lord and those around you. I also know from experience it’s possible to trust myself now to make a conscious choice to be honest.
I don’t think we can possibly understand what being dishonest does to us until we pull ourselves back out of that hole. Only when we’ve regained the good Spirit we pushed away through unrighteous choices do we realize what we had lost.
“Dishonesty hurts you and usually hurts others as well. When you lie, steal, shoplift, or cheat, you damage your spirit and become less able to do good things” (For the Strength of Youth, p.31).
We tend to ignore what our actions do to those around us, fooling ourselves into believing no one is getting hurt, not even ourselves. Rationalization is a favorite tool of Satan. He would have us convince ourselves every bad choice we make isn’t all that bad.
“Don’t rationalize that wrong is right, even though many people around you may think there is no harm in being dishonest. Being honest requires courage and commitment to do what you know is right” (For the Strength of Youth, p.31).
Being dishonest isn’t hard. Being honest and upright is.
At seventeen I was coming out of an Orchestra practice. We were preparing for a play, and my parents had allowed me to take the car so they wouldn’t have to drop me off and pick me up. I wasn’t paying enough attention and broke one of the taillights. I was horrified! My first thought was, ‘What am I going to tell my parents?’ That two-minute drive had never seemed longer in my life. I literally felt like there was a little angel on my right shoulder and a little devil on my left, each trying to convince me which way to choose.
I chose to tell my parents the truth. They were disappointed, and I hated that it cost them so much to fix the light, but I was so glad I’d told the truth. There was no guilt tacked on, no more lies to keep covering the first one up. Once it was done it was done, and my parents still trusted me afterwards. Being honest, even though it was so hard, was positively freeing.
Being honest isn’t always the easy choice. It is, however, one of the best choices you can make.