Eternally Safe Choices–Undertanding Agency
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Discovering Yourself, Finding joy within the gospel, For the Strength of the Youth, Living the Gospel, Making Decisions, Peer Pressure, Teens & Seminary
The teen years are filled with temptation. The media, peers, even teachers and other adults can try to convince a young person that sin is okay, natural, normal, and fun. For a teenager with high standards and an eye for eternity, it can be a challenge to stay on the right path, when so many people are determined to take her off that path. Fortunately, God and His servants have outlined effective ways for teens—and adults—to stay safe.
Staying safe is a matter of choices, and to make wise choices, we have to understand the concept of agency. This article will focus on agency, and future articles in this series will walk through the process of using that understanding to make eternally safe choices. Read more
Finding Yourself
When I was a teenager, it was common for young people to talk about trying to “find themselves.” While this was seemingly a worthwhile project, most teenagers and young adults searched for themselves in all the wrong places. For some, it was nothing more than an excuse to experiment with sin or waste a great deal of time.
To find ourselves, we don’t have to travel to a foreign country or hang out with people who frighten our parents. We need to look to our heritage. We are all children of God, and we can’t find ourselves until we start looking in the places where He lives. When we begin our search with our creator, we soon figure out there really is a purpose to this life, and it’s a wonderful one.
God planned for us to come to earth, and it wasn’t a random science experiment. We had lived with Him before our birth, and had grown and progressed during that time. We had talents and personality and interests, some of which came with us to earth. But we needed more. We needed a body and a family. We needed to test ourselves, to see if we could keep it all together when we were away from Home. So He sent us here.
To find ourselves, we need to look at who we really are. We’re a child of God. What does that mean? As children of Heavenly Parents, we have a divine and royal heritage. Did you ever dream of being a prince or a princess? God is your king, and so your dream has come true. However, being this type of a prince or princess doesn’t mean dressing up in fancy clothes or waving to adoring crowds. It comes with responsibility. We have a responsibility to live up to the standards God set for us, to become everything He dreamed of for us.
So how do we do all of this? First, we have to put some work into the preparation. How much time every day do you spend learning about God and Jesus? If you aren’t spending any time with them, and the time isn’t meaningful, you aren’t going to have any idea how much they love you or what they want from you. You need to get to know them by reading scriptures, studying the words of their chosen leaders, and praying in meaningful ways.
Only a personal prayer that is spoken in the words of your own heart can teach you how to communicate with God. Say what’s in your heart and don’t turn to pre-written prayers or repetitious phrases. Then sit quietly and listen for answers. They come in the form of peaceful feelings or uneasy ones, but they are the clues about whether or not you’re making the right choices. If you tell God what you have planned, and you feel warm and safe inside when you’re sitting quietly and waiting for the answer, you know He’s pleased with your choice. If you’re uneasy as you wait, or as you carry out the plans you made without waiting, you’ll know you’re on the wrong path. The Holy Ghost places those feelings in your heart. He can also give you a reassurance of God’s love for you.
The next thing we have to do is to spend our time in meaningful ways. Visit God at least once a week in his home-go to church. Why not a Mormon church, which has a strong program for Mormon teenagers and their friends? Spend time serving his other children. Serving others helps us find ourselves more quickly than sitting and thinking does. From service, we learn to appreciate what we have. We see in those we help a model of courage, strength, and humility. We give something back for what we’ve received. We even learn more about how God feels when He’s helping us, and we learn more about what we’re capable of.
There is, of course, a place for introspection. Many people find it helpful to keep a journal. Rather than simply recording what they did, they record how those activities made them feel, what they learned from them, and how they plan to improve in what they’re doing. They pay attention, in their writing, to who they are becoming. If they whine about service, they might later notice this is a place they can improve. If they do three service projects and one of them has them so fulfilled and excited they can’t wait to do it again, they may have found a passion or a talent.
Identifying passions is part of finding ourselves, but it’s important to find a passion worthy of a child of a royal heritage. Feeding the hungry, teaching a child, planting a garden…these are passions worthy of a child of God.
When you find your passions, and you know your God, you’ll find yourself.
Teens: Perspective
Filed under: Discovering Yourself, Life Lessons, Living the Gospel, Service Opportunities
This was the lesson I gave in my Young Women’s class recently. I didn’t make it to Sunday School, where most of my spiritual epiphanies originate, so I’m taking my inspiration from the messages I delivered in class.
Perspective is a funny thing. It has to be based on truth, not our interpretation of truth. Our own personal perspectives can be skewed by our experiences and the experiences others bring into our lives. These are not based on truth.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how others perceive the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church). For those who have heard nothing about it, or who have been taught by those who are against it, many of our beliefs may seem really weird, out-there, or nutty. Even in this century there are individuals who are still taught that Mormons have horns, that the men still have plural wives, and other things that simply aren’t true.
One of my favorite accounts of this comes from the latter-day apostle Boyd K. Packer. He recalls:
Years ago, I was at a symposium at a college in Oregon. Present were a Catholic bishop, a rabbi, an Episcopalian minister, an Evangelical minister, a Unitarian clergyman, and myself.
The president of the school, Dr. Bennett, hosted a breakfast. One of them asked which wife I had brought. I told them I had a choice of one. For a second, I thought that I was being singled out for embarrassment. Then someone asked the Catholic bishop if he had brought his wife.
The next question came from Dr. Bennett to me: “Is it true that Mormons have horns?”
I smiled and said, “I comb my hair so that they can’t be seen.”
Dr. Bennett, who was completely bald, put both hands on the top of his head and said, “Oh! You can never make a Mormon out of me!” (Boyd K. Packer, “A Defense and a Refuge,” Liahona, Nov 2006, 85–88)
It can be difficult not to get one’s ire up just a little when these sorts of untruthes are spoken, but one of the big things I felt impressed to share with my girls is this: we don’t know where others are coming from. We don’t know what they’ve been taught. We don’t know what experiences they’ve had to fashion out their own perceptions on life.
The same can be said for us. Others don’t know what we’ve had to endure in this mortal life. They cannot perceive what personal testimony we might hold. Most of all, they do not know why we are the way we are. Therefore, we must treat others carefully, and with respect concerning their beliefs.
The second big point I felt impressed to share was that God knows so much more than we can ever hope to know. He sees everything, from where we lived before we were born (where did we come from?), to what we need to accomplish in this life (why are we here?), right down to where we can hope to be in life after death (where am I going?).
The Father’s knowledge far surpasses ours. He knows what we are capeable of, what we need to learn in this life. Sometimes He’ll ask us to go through hard times. Ask anyone who has come out of a trial seemingly stronger for the experience, and they’ll tell you they’ve learned things they never could have learned any other way. Our trials are not always punishment for doing something wrong. Sometimes they’re there to help us progress.
We all have things set up for us here in this mortal life. I personally have been given many trials in this life, most of which can’t be seen with just a glance. These lessons I had to learn were in my brain and in my heart, and I’ve passed – not with flying colors, but enough that my Heavenly Father has placed a new path my life is to take before me.
At times life feels overwhelming. At times it’s beyond exciting. At times we’re humbled. And at times we’re scared.
Lastly, it is important to keep an eternal perspective in our daily doings. We need to remember who we are: precious children of our Heavenly Father, who gave us an opportunity to learn and grow and choose this mortal life in the pre-existence. We need to remember why we’re here: to continue learning and growing and making a daily, even hourly choice to keep along the Lord’s path. We also need to remember where we’re going, and what we can become: even like unto our Father, forever connected to our families. This knowledge has brought me through many a hard time.
It is so important to make sure our perceptions, of anything and anyone, are based in truth. How? Well, we can guess at what something is or what it means, but then comes the important part. We need to take the matter to the Lord in prayer and ask if what we think or feel is truth. Be ready for the answer, whatever it may be.
Teens: Be a Missionary Now
Filed under: Book of Mormon, Discovering Yourself, Living the Gospel
It is a well-known story among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed the Mormons.
Ammon and his brothers were the sons of a Nephite King. The Nephites were God’s people who lived in the Americas starting 600 years before Christ was born. The king, Mosiah, knew his time on earth was coming to an end, and asked his sons who should be king. All of these young men declined the offer, wishing instead to go and serve as missionaries to the Lamanites. The Lamanites were those who were either led to hate the Nephites because of the traditions of their fathers, or who had openly rebelled against God’s Church.
Mosiah feared for his sons’ lives, and took his concerns to the Lord in prayer. There he was reassured they would be kept safe as they performed His work.
Ammon separated from his other brothers and came to the land called Ishmael that was ruled by a man called Lamoni. Ammon was bound and brought before the king, who asked why he had come to this land where he was hated. Ammon surprised Lamoni by saying his only wish was to serve. Lamoni, pleased by this, set him up with other servants to guard the flocks.
A local band of Lamanites took immense pleasure in scattering the flocks of the king. The servants were far outnumbered and had no way of keeping this from happening. On the third day of Ammon’s service the flocks were once again scattered. The other servants began to murmur. They knew King Lamoni would have their lives, as it had happened to other servants before them.
Ammon immediately saw where he could use this experience to help open a door to missionary work. He calmed the servants down saying together they would re-gather the flocks. The servants obeyed, and soon enough they’d accomplished this task. Once again the band of Lamanites came to scatter the flocks. Ammon charged the servants to surround the flocks, and stepped up to deal with these awful men.
Try to imagine the sight of one, lone, unknown individual going up against a throng of evildoers. They had no idea the Lord had promised Ammon’s father no harm would come to this son, nor did they realize what power had been granted to Ammon because of his righteous desires.
Ammon began to fling stones with his sling. The Lamanites were astounded as man after man fell, six in all. They rushed at him with their own slings and clubs, but none could touch him. Any one who raised a hand against him had his arm cut off. The only man to die by the sword, however, was the leader of the pack. As he went down the others began to flee from this frightening sight.
Once the Lamanites left, Ammon placed his sword and sling away, continued to water the flocks, and returned to the king’s household. His fellow servants, no doubt shocked and amazed by all they had seen, followed his lead. But upon returning to the household they gathered up many of the arms that had been cut off to use as a witness of the remarkable events.
Needless to say King Lamoni was astonished. He asked where Ammon was, to which the servants told him he was preparing the horses for the king’s journey into his father’s land, which had been commanded of them even before they left to water the flocks.
Lamoni’s words beautifully show his surprise. “Surely there has not been any servant among all my servants that has been so faithful as this man; for even he doth remember all my commandments to execute them” (Alma 18:10). Lamoni sent for Ammon, and then the missionary work began.
What can we learn from Ammon about being a successful missionary? Whether you’re a member of a church, specifically called to be a missionary, or simply feel the importance of sharing the Lord’s gospel, here are a few keys to follow:
First is to study, pray and fast (Alma 17:2-3). You can’t teach what you don’t know. You need to pray about the things you read to know if they are truth, and you should fast to keep yourselves in better tune with the Spirit of the Lord.
Second, you need to love God and others. I think loving God comes first. It was because of their love for God that the sons of Mosiah wanted to go out and preach His word, to turn the hearts of those who didn’t know better towards the light. As you explore and enlarge that love for God, you might be surprised to find your capacity to love those who may hate you growing by leaps and bounds.
Third, we need to give service and develop trust. Why is giving service so important? It is a remarkable teaching tool. Think of the Savior, who led a life of service. Only the most humble willingly set aside their own pride and serve others. Those who voluntarily give of their time, efforts, talents, and means instill in others the desire to trust. Ammon’s first act as a captive of Lamoni was to offer his service. He saved the king’s flocks. He could have gone strutting back in to the king, all full of himself, and demanded that Lamoni now listen to him. He could have caused much fear in the hearts of those who didn’t understand. Instead, he quietly went on with the work he’d been commanded to do.
Fourth, we need to teach from the scriptures. Once King Lamoni trusted Ammon, he allowed this great man to teach the word of God. Doors were opened. Lessons were taught. An entire city was converted to the Lord’s Church. It was truly a miracle.
One last thing. We can be the greatest orator in the world, teaching and preaching whatever may come into our hearts, but it won’t mean a thing unless we have the Holy Spirit with us. If we are not worthy to have his presence with us, if we are teaching things that go against the Lord’s ways, the Holy Spirit cannot reside. It is the Holy Spirit that testifies to our hearts, and then the teaching truly begins.
To be the most effective teachers, or missionaries, we have to have that Spirit with us.
~~~~~
To read the full story of Ammon, start with Alma 17.
Teens: Who Do You Think You Are?
A certain movie that came out a few years ago led many teens and pre-teens to wonder this very thing. One young man was labeled the basketball guy; one young woman didn’t want to be sucked back into the world of math and science without trying to explore other options; another girl was determined to keep her own identity wrapped up tight in the world of drama and music.
I immediately appreciated the message this movie portrays, that we are so much more than our obvious talents make us out to be. If this weren’t truth I would never have tried out for Pep Club my junior year of high school, as my obvious talents lay in the fields of music and writing. Yet I made it and had a wonderful time.
You need to take a moment, however, and focus on who you really are. This one important trait can do more for the foundation of your identity than any other, even if you are the star of the football team.
You are a child of God.
Why is knowing this so important? James E. Faust, former member of the 1st Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as the Mormon Church), gives us a great example:
“Dr. Fred Rile, a prominent social worker, has treated many athletes who identify themselves as athletes rather than as children of God. He relates: ‘What happens when they can’t play basketball? Their identity is shot.’ Their self-worth is related to their physical skills rather than their character. Many who achieve world-class recognition may not like themselves. Some of the rich and famous, even though they have great talent and ability, are insecure and succumb to drugs, alcohol, or immorality, and their lives become shattered. Instead of being happy with who they are, they become dissatisfied and discontent. They measure their self-worth solely in terms of their talent and accomplishments instead of who they really are inside. It is not always true that the more you achieve, the happier you will be or that you will like yourself more” (James E. Faust, “Who Do You Think You Are? – A Message to Youth,” Liahona, Jun 2001).
Some of the wealthiest and most ‘successful’ individuals in the world are not truly content. They are continually looking for something more, that elusive entity that will make them feel whole and happy.
As a child of God you have been given some extraordinary talents. With those talents comes a responsibility to develop and utilize them to further the Lord’s work. When you take those talents and begin using them for your own selfish gain, you lose sight of who you really are. Yes riches and fame may come, but you will also find misery and a sense of loss.
Now is the time to find out who you really are. If you don’t already know yourself to be a child of God, begin with a prayer. If prayer feels uncomfortable, pick up a Holy Bible or a Book of Mormon (another testament of Jesus Christ).
For those who feel you do know yourself as a child of God, now is the time to study and begin to discover what that really means.
Teens: Discovering Your Gifts
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about gifts. I hear words echoing through many mouths about how there is nothing within them anyone would consider special. This is a cry that has been heard for hundreds upon hundreds of years.
“One of the great tragedies of life, it seems to me, is when a person classifies himself as someone who has no talents or gifts. When, in disgust or discouragement, we allow ourselves to reach depressive levels of despair because of our demeaning self-appraisal, it is a sad day for us and a sad day in the eyes of God. For us to conclude that we have no gifts when we judge ourselves by stature, intelligence, grade-point average, wealth, power position, or external appearance is not only unfair but unreasonable” (Marvin J. Ashton, “There Are Many Gifts’,” Ensign, Nov. 1987).
We have all been granted a gift, though we may not see it as such. These gifts may not be easily seen such as a beautiful singing voice, excellence in sports, or excelling in school. This does not make these less noticeable gifts any less worthy. It just means we have to search a little harder to find them, and appreciate them.
“Let us review some of these less-conspicuous gifts: the gift of asking; the gift of listening; the gift of hearing and using a still, small voice; the gift of being able to weep; the gift of avoiding contention; the gift of being agreeable; the gift of avoiding vain repetition; the gift of seeking that which is righteous; the gift of not passing judgment; the gift of looking to God for guidance; the gift of being a disciple; the gift of caring for others; the gift of being able to ponder; the gift of offering prayer; and the gift of bearing a mighty testimony” (Marvin J. Ashton, “There Are Many Gifts’,” Ensign, Nov. 1987).
Have you ever thought of these seemingly simple things as being a gift?
I distinctly recall a night when I had dropped off most of my Young Women (teen girls age 12-18 in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed the Mormon Church) after an activity, when two asked if they could come to my home and talk. I agreed, and for about an hour I let the girls chat. Just before it was time for them to get home one of the girls stopped and said, “Sister Walker, you’re a really good listener.”
This wasn’t the first time someone had spoken these words to me, but they deeply touched my heart from this sweet, beautiful young woman. Listening to others has always come naturally to me, but I had not thought of it as a gift until that moment when I saw how much it meant to this sweet spirit.
I think one of Satan’s most powerful tools in making us feel as though we are anything less than a Child of God is in comparing ourselves to others. One of my best friends in the world growing up was named Kristin. Kristin stood at almost six-foot tall, with gorgeous blonde hair and a smile that could blow anyone away. She was a brilliant student, had even skipped a grade early on in her life, played the piano, could sew beautiful clothes, and was an awesome basketball player.
There I stood at a pudgy 5’2 (and a half, thank you very much), unable to make a basket, doing well enough in school, knowing what a piano looked like, and afraid of a sewing machine. There were times I felt dwarfed by her extraordinary talents. . .until one day my friend did something that surprised me.
We were at a school football game. There were two guys behind us who were using language that offended the both of us. At one point Kristin turned around and asked the young men to stop swearing or move. I was stunned. As we talked later she recalled to my mind an event when I had done something similar. She told me I had shown her in my own small way that standing up for what was right wasn’t necessarily a hard thing to do.
“And to every man is given a gift” (D&C 46:11).
What gift has God blessed you with to lift and encourage others? It doesn’t matter how seemingly insignificant it may be. Take some time to write down all the things you do well. Ask family members or friends to come up with a few things as well. You might be surprised to find out what others find remarkable in you.
Most important, find a way to use these gifts. God gave them to you for a reason. There may be someone in this world that only you can help, in your own special way.
Staying Modest
One of many tough trials for young women today is staying modest in an immodest world. Fashion often dictates what’s cool and what’s not, mostly taking the ‘skin is in’ route. Just when you thought something was safe to wear, designers have expertly found a way to expose what should remain hidden.
Fortunately for those of you today who’d rather take a reasonable road when it comes to clothes, there are a few simple moves to help keep you modest, yet fashionable.
First find a full-length mirror, either in your home or at the store. Next, think back to Primary when you’re full of wiggles and your music leader just can’t take it any more. Which song is usually first on everyone’s list?
“Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.”
Head
Start by placing your hands on your head. Does your shirt hike up a little more than necessary? Check your sleeves. Do they cover the area around your arms?
Shoulders
Next put your hands on your shoulders. Is your arm area still properly covered? Notice this move stretches the shirt across your chest. Are things too tight? Are buttons threatening to pop off?
Knees
Now it’s time to touch your knees. In this glorious position rotate a full 360 degrees. You might be surprised to find your shirt falling forward in front, exposing a little more than necessary, and a not-so-lovely gap between the hem of your shirt and pants in back.
Toes
Whether you crouch down to touch them or impressively manage to reach your toes while knees are locked, you might find things gaping in places you’d never expected. If you’re wearing a skirt, how high does it hike at the hemline? If you’re wearing pants, check to see if you’re still sufficiently covered at the belt. Once again look for too much exposure in front.
Are you surprised by just how revealing your clothes are? Or did you manage to pass the test with flying colors? The good news is even if all your clothes didn’t qualify, there are little ways to make them work. No need to start a whole new wardrobe.
Once you’ve found what works and what doesn’t, improve on your look to put together the most trendy outfits possible. Layers are still very in, and are a fantastic way to cover up the bare spots without completely emptying out your bank account. There are also many places now that specialize in modest clothing.
So the next time you’re shopping for the newest and coolest, don’t forget to check things from head to toe so you won’t be left with any unexpected surprises.
Teen: Where Am I Going?
I don’t know that this third question pertaining to the Plan of Salvation is on the mind of many of the youth today. Then again I’m about to turn hmph years old, so what do I know. I do recall as a youth having a difficult time imagining ‘eternity’. My mind simply refused to wrap around that concept (still doesn’t, to be honest).
So for those of you not yet concerned about what comes after this life, I invite you to come back when you’re more in the mood. I do not say this lightly, but due to the weighty nature of this subject it would be better for you to think about it when in the right frame of mind.
For those of you who find yourselves continually wondering where we go after we die, please pull up a chair and read on.
I want to talk first of what most other Christian churches believe. I can’t say ‘all’ of them because I truly don’t know what every single one believes. Regardless, it’s important to have a basic understanding of where those who may question you are coming from, if for no other reason than to maintain a level of respect for their viewpoint.
Most of the Christian world believes after death you go to one of two places: heaven or hell. That’s it. If you’ve accepted Christ as your Savior and as the only way into heaven you will, indeed, reside there for eternity. I wish to say I understand this concept, but must admit it eludes me. Where is the dividing line? How is it fair if one spends their entire lives doing everything possible to live worthily, and is placed side by side with another who sinned their entire lives only to accept Christ shortly before death? And what about those who died as infants, and never had the opportunity? These and many other questions leave me unsettled.
Like I said, I simply don’t understand.
Think for a moment, then, what someone else looking into the LDS Church might wonder. Are they as confused about our beliefs as I feel about theirs? For those of us who have been taught the truths regarding life after death since birth, the ideals may seem simple. It may not appear that way to others.
It is difficult to put into a few simple statements all that has been revealed regarding life after death, but I will try to help shorten the big explanations.
For those that don’t know, after death our spirits will reside in a spirit world, often compared to a waiting room. This Spirit World is split into two hemispheres: Spirit Paradise and Spirit Prison. Those in Paradise are worthy members of the Lord’s church who will act as missionaries to those in Prison, bringing lost souls to the light. Some of those in Spirit Prison will accept this message while others will choose to remain in darkness. While this is going on life continues for those on earth.
When all is done that needs to be done here in this world, and Christ has come again to usher in the Millennium, we will see an even greater pace for temple work to be accomplished. Satan’s influence will have no hold over the children of God and missionary work will swiftly flow throughout the earth.
One interesting thing I learned is not everyone here on earth during the millennium will automatically know Jesus is the Christ, or that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is his church reorganized in this last dispensation. There will still be a need for missionary work during those thousand years of peace. Individuals may not accept his Church as being the only true church. As promised from before the time we were born, we will still have a choice.
Once the thousand years have passed we will see yet another war, referred to as the Battle of Gog and Magog. I don’t know what will happen during this time, but I do know righteousness will prevail. When this war is completed Satan and his followers will at last be eternally bound, unable to influence another person again. It is at this time the children of God will stand at His throne to be judged, and we will go to one of four places:
1. Outer darkness. This will be the permanent residence of the most wicked of mankind (Sons of Perdition), those who have had a testimony of Jesus Christ and his church and lost it all, denying what they knew to be true. They will have lost the light of truth.
2. The Telestial world. This will be the permanent residence of those who chose wickedness: liars, murderers, adulterers, etc. They were given the chance to accept the gospel of Christ, chose not to, but did not deny there is a God.
3. Next is the Terrestrial world. Here will reside those who are good and honorable people who do not accept the gospel of Jesus Christ when given the opportunity in mortal life, but decide to accept it in the spirit world. It will also include LDS members who are not worthy of the highest kingdom.
4. At last we reach the Celestial glory. This belongs to faithful, baptized members of Christ’s church who not only have the gift of the Holy Ghost, but did everything in their power to keep all the commandments of God. We have also been taught that within this glory there are three degrees. For more information visit:
There is so much more involved in the Plan of Salvation, but perhaps knowing these basics can help keep the final goal in sight, and help those who lack this knowledge to find hope and purpose in this life.
I would also invite any of the youth out there, if you have a question, to please write me, or visit www.lds.org or www.mormonwiki.com. Both are excellent sites and can help you gain further knowledge regarding the Plan of Salvation.
Youth: Pressured to Dance
I can promise you this won’t be anything remotely close to what you might be thinking – and if it is, then we must have been created from the same mold up in heaven. I thought since my last several posts were on the more serious side, we’d take a break and laugh at…uh, I mean with me for a moment.
One of my best friends in high school was a real go-getter. There were few things in life that intimidated her. I don’t believe I ever found her unwilling to push herself into situations that made my own stomach churn. Nothing bad, mind you.
For instance, Sandra loved dances. Whether for school or church she was always ready to plunge into the water and do a bit of Guy Fishing. One of our other friends, Pam, usually trailed right behind, just as eager.
Not me. I loved to dance, but only those songs where contact with the opposite gender wasn’t necessary. Don’t get me wrong. I dearly loved the men folk. Many a daydream included a few particular specimens of interest to me.
The problem was I suffered from an extreme case of shyness coupled with a shaky self-image. At 5’2” I stood a good bit shorter than most everyone else. My height wouldn’t have felt like such a burden except for the size ten body wrapped around the squat frame. There were things I loved about myself, things that helped me to know I was someone worth knowing. I just didn’t love the way I looked.
In today’s world a size ten is nothing to whine about. Fifteen years ago it felt like reason enough to join my fellow wallflowers. Too bad Sandra didn’t feel the same way.
And now I share with the world one of my embarrassing experiences.
Sandra and Pam were determined one night to get me to dance with at least one guy at a multi-stake dance (I believe they’re called regional dances now). In this effort they scanned the room for a group of three guys to attack…oops, I meant approach. Sandra asked number one. Pamela walked off with number two. Number three took one look and I swear I saw him inwardly cringe. He was just as reluctant to do this as I.
We took to the dance floor, skirting the edges, standing as far apart as possible. Not one word escaped our lips for at least a minute and a half. If that doesn’t sound long…try it sometime. It feels like an eternity. I imagine both of us were anxious for the song to end.
Get this – we haven’t even gotten to the embarrassing part yet. A fellow classmate approached. She stood at close to nine feet tall – from my lowly perspective – and had the build of a trained dancer. Right behind stood a young woman about my height and drop dead gorgeous. As if I wasn’t feeling abnormally self-conscious already.
“Hey Randy,” said the Amazonian girl. “I found her. This is Chrissy.”
At that moment I realized Randy was being ‘rescued’ and I felt promptly humiliated (not to mention a bit angry with my friends for getting me into the situation in the first place). Not having the social knowledge to sweetly release my unwilling partner, I hung on like a limp, unwanted rag. The two girls left after several agonizing seconds, and Randy and I finished the dance in frustrated silence. I couldn’t even look him in the eye as I left.
After that experience, I never – and I do mean never – let Sandra pressure me into asking someone to dance again. Especially someone I didn’t even know. I still loved to go and have a good time with my friends. It just took those awful, awkward three minutes to realize something great.
I know my limits.
The next time Sandra and Pamela picked a group of guys, number three was left standing alone.
Teens: Why Are We Here?
Second only to “Where do we come from?” is the ever consuming question “Why are we here?” This question has been, is now, and will be asked by youth around the world. For those who are members of the LDS Church, or who are simply looking for answers, it is vital to know the truth in order to stay on the right track.
So why are we here on earth?
1. To gain a body of flesh and bones.
2. To gain experiences we could not otherwise obtain without that body.
At a certain point in our pre-mortal life we could go no further in knowledge or growth. Something had to be changed in order for us to continue on our path to becoming like our Heavenly Father. The only way it could happen was with a physical body. We had to be separated from our Father, to be given the chance to prove ourselves worthy of the opportunity to return.
In order to prove ourselves we needed experiences. Sometimes these experiences are extraordinary and fulfilling. Other times we question why we are asked to endure such pain.
When I was fifteen my father told me he had a lump in his neck and would be going into surgery to have it removed. Looking back I realize I didn’t fully grasp what he was really trying to say. The situation was serious.
The lump in his neck was cancerous. By the grace of God doctors caught it early enough for my dad’s life to be spared. I can’t even begin to tell you what it was like to watch him endure the chemotherapy and radiation. Yet I know for a fact he learned so much more in that awful year than he could have learned in a lifetime.
There are experiences in this mortal life we are called on to bear. Many of these things we agreed to in the pre-existence, with the realization that they would help us attain the knowledge and lessons necessary to carry us through this life. We had goals set even before we came down here, and we knew what we would have to endure to accomplish those goals.
As I have previously mentioned I wrote to some Christian friends on a bulletin board I frequent. These ladies are not of the LDS faith, and I wanted their perspective on the ideas of the Plan of Salvation. I found the concepts of these friends interesting as to our purpose here on earth.
For the most part they believe that God created us to come to earth and praise Him. If we accept Him as our Savior, we are saved through the atonement. Of course we need to do all the good works we can, though they’re not vital. One woman wrote: “Your good works will not have any bearing on your salvation status, but may win you crowns in Heaven.” I admit I don’t fully understand this comment, but neither have I been raised in their church.
Elder L. Tom Perry, a leader of the LDS Church, said,
“Many people in the world today continue to struggle to find answers to life’s most basic questions. The cries of the people only grow louder and many, many times more confusing. There are so many avenues to broadcast more and more different messages. I guess it should not be surprising that people are confused.
“Centuries ago [the Apostle] Paul predicted: ‘The time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.’”
The ladies from the bulletin board kept giving me links to many sites where their ideas and views were better explained by different men and women who blatantly contradicted each other. They were indeed ‘telling fables.’ Is it any wonder the people of today are so lost, or don’t know just what to believe any more?
I was pleased to see that all of the women agreed on one thing: the importance of the atonement. About a year ago when I was very sick, both with a virus and being pregnant with my last baby, I received a blessing in which I was encouraged to study up on the Plan of Salvation. So I opened up my scriptures and looked it up in the index, thinking I’d be reading about the pre-existence, earth life, and what would come after.
Imagine my surprise when every single scripture I read spoke of the Atonement. It took a lot more studying in different books for me to grasp the reason: the entire plan is made possible through Jesus Christ. If he had never accepted the responsibility in the pre-existence, we would not have had a Savior, and coming to earth would have meant an eternal separation from our Heavenly Father.
Elder Perry said,
“He is the centerpiece of the eternal plan of the Father, the Savior who was provided as a ransom for mankind. God sent His Beloved Son to overcome the Fall of Adam and Eve. He came to earth as our Savior and Redeemer. He overcame the obstacle of physical death for us by giving up His own life. Because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, we will all be resurrected, regardless of whether we have accomplished good or evil in this life…But the glory we attain to in the next life will depend on our performance in this life.”
Why are we here? We came to this earth to gain a body, to experience pain and sorrow, joy and happiness, so that we might grow into someone worthy to walk again with our Heavenly Father.