Teens & Seminary

A certain movie that came out a few years ago led many teens and pre-teens to wonder this very thing. One young man was labeled the basketball guy; one young woman didn’t want to be sucked back into the world of math and science without trying to explore other options; another girl was determined to keep her own identity wrapped up tight in the world of drama and music.

I immediately appreciated the message this movie portrays, that we are so much more than our obvious talents make us out to be. If this weren’t truth I would never have tried out for Pep Club my junior year of high school, as my obvious talents lay in the fields of music and writing. Yet I made it and had a wonderful time.

You need to take a moment, however, and focus on who you really are. This one important trait can do more for the foundation of your identity than any other, even if you are the star of the football team.

You are a child of God.

Why is knowing this so important? James E. Faust, former member of the 1st Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as the Mormon Church), gives us a great example:

“Dr. Fred Rile, a prominent social worker, has treated many athletes who identify themselves as athletes rather than as children of God. He relates: ‘What happens when they can’t play basketball? Their identity is shot.’ Their self-worth is related to their physical skills rather than their character. Many who achieve world-class recognition may not like themselves. Some of the rich and famous, even though they have great talent and ability, are insecure and succumb to drugs, alcohol, or immorality, and their lives become shattered. Instead of being happy with who they are, they become dissatisfied and discontent. They measure their self-worth solely in terms of their talent and accomplishments instead of who they really are inside. It is not always true that the more you achieve, the happier you will be or that you will like yourself more” (James E. Faust, “Who Do You Think You Are? – A Message to Youth,” Liahona, Jun 2001).

Some of the wealthiest and most ‘successful’ individuals in the world are not truly content. They are continually looking for something more, that elusive entity that will make them feel whole and happy.

As a child of God you have been given some extraordinary talents. With those talents comes a responsibility to develop and utilize them to further the Lord’s work. When you take those talents and begin using them for your own selfish gain, you lose sight of who you really are. Yes riches and fame may come, but you will also find misery and a sense of loss.

Now is the time to find out who you really are. If you don’t already know yourself to be a child of God, begin with a prayer. If prayer feels uncomfortable, pick up a Holy Bible or a Book of Mormon (another testament of Jesus Christ).

For those who feel you do know yourself as a child of God, now is the time to study and begin to discover what that really means.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about gifts. I hear words echoing through many mouths about how there is nothing within them anyone would consider special. This is a cry that has been heard for hundreds upon hundreds of years.

“One of the great tragedies of life, it seems to me, is when a person classifies himself as someone who has no talents or gifts. When, in disgust or discouragement, we allow ourselves to reach depressive levels of despair because of our demeaning self-appraisal, it is a sad day for us and a sad day in the eyes of God. For us to conclude that we have no gifts when we judge ourselves by stature, intelligence, grade-point average, wealth, power position, or external appearance is not only unfair but unreasonable” (Marvin J. Ashton, “There Are Many Gifts’,” Ensign, Nov. 1987).

We have all been granted a gift, though we may not see it as such. These gifts may not be easily seen such as a beautiful singing voice, excellence in sports, or excelling in school. This does not make these less noticeable gifts any less worthy. It just means we have to search a little harder to find them, and appreciate them.

“Let us review some of these less-conspicuous gifts: the gift of asking; the gift of listening; the gift of hearing and using a still, small voice; the gift of being able to weep; the gift of avoiding contention; the gift of being agreeable; the gift of avoiding vain repetition; the gift of seeking that which is righteous; the gift of not passing judgment; the gift of looking to God for guidance; the gift of being a disciple; the gift of caring for others; the gift of being able to ponder; the gift of offering prayer; and the gift of bearing a mighty testimony” (Marvin J. Ashton, “There Are Many Gifts’,” Ensign, Nov. 1987).

Have you ever thought of these seemingly simple things as being a gift?

I distinctly recall a night when I had dropped off most of my Young Women (teen girls age 12-18 in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed the Mormon Church) after an activity, when two asked if they could come to my home and talk. I agreed, and for about an hour I let the girls chat. Just before it was time for them to get home one of the girls stopped and said, “Sister Walker, you’re a really good listener.”

This wasn’t the first time someone had spoken these words to me, but they deeply touched my heart from this sweet, beautiful young woman. Listening to others has always come naturally to me, but I had not thought of it as a gift until that moment when I saw how much it meant to this sweet spirit.

I think one of Satan’s most powerful tools in making us feel as though we are anything less than a Child of God is in comparing ourselves to others. One of my best friends in the world growing up was named Kristin. Kristin stood at almost six-foot tall, with gorgeous blonde hair and a smile that could blow anyone away. She was a brilliant student, had even skipped a grade early on in her life, played the piano, could sew beautiful clothes, and was an awesome basketball player.

There I stood at a pudgy 5’2 (and a half, thank you very much), unable to make a basket, doing well enough in school, knowing what a piano looked like, and afraid of a sewing machine. There were times I felt dwarfed by her extraordinary talents. . .until one day my friend did something that surprised me.

We were at a school football game. There were two guys behind us who were using language that offended the both of us. At one point Kristin turned around and asked the young men to stop swearing or move. I was stunned. As we talked later she recalled to my mind an event when I had done something similar. She told me I had shown her in my own small way that standing up for what was right wasn’t necessarily a hard thing to do.

“And to every man is given a gift” (D&C 46:11).

What gift has God blessed you with to lift and encourage others? It doesn’t matter how seemingly insignificant it may be. Take some time to write down all the things you do well. Ask family members or friends to come up with a few things as well. You might be surprised to find out what others find remarkable in you.

Most important, find a way to use these gifts. God gave them to you for a reason. There may be someone in this world that only you can help, in your own special way.

I don’t know that this third question pertaining to the Plan of Salvation is on the mind of many of the youth today. Then again I’m about to turn hmph years old, so what do I know. I do recall as a youth having a difficult time imagining ‘eternity’. My mind simply refused to wrap around that concept (still doesn’t, to be honest).

So for those of you not yet concerned about what comes after this life, I invite you to come back when you’re more in the mood. I do not say this lightly, but due to the weighty nature of this subject it would be better for you to think about it when in the right frame of mind.

For those of you who find yourselves continually wondering where we go after we die, please pull up a chair and read on.

I want to talk first of what most other Christian churches believe. I can’t say ‘all’ of them because I truly don’t know what every single one believes. Regardless, it’s important to have a basic understanding of where those who may question you are coming from, if for no other reason than to maintain a level of respect for their viewpoint.

Most of the Christian world believes after death you go to one of two places: heaven or hell. That’s it. If you’ve accepted Christ as your Savior and as the only way into heaven you will, indeed, reside there for eternity. I wish to say I understand this concept, but must admit it eludes me. Where is the dividing line? How is it fair if one spends their entire lives doing everything possible to live worthily, and is placed side by side with another who sinned their entire lives only to accept Christ shortly before death? And what about those who died as infants, and never had the opportunity? These and many other questions leave me unsettled.

Like I said, I simply don’t understand.

Think for a moment, then, what someone else looking into the LDS Church might wonder. Are they as confused about our beliefs as I feel about theirs? For those of us who have been taught the truths regarding life after death since birth, the ideals may seem simple. It may not appear that way to others.

It is difficult to put into a few simple statements all that has been revealed regarding life after death, but I will try to help shorten the big explanations.

For those that don’t know, after death our spirits will reside in a spirit world, often compared to a waiting room. This Spirit World is split into two hemispheres: Spirit Paradise and Spirit Prison. Those in Paradise are worthy members of the Lord’s church who will act as missionaries to those in Prison, bringing lost souls to the light. Some of those in Spirit Prison will accept this message while others will choose to remain in darkness. While this is going on life continues for those on earth.

When all is done that needs to be done here in this world, and Christ has come again to usher in the Millennium, we will see an even greater pace for temple work to be accomplished. Satan’s influence will have no hold over the children of God and missionary work will swiftly flow throughout the earth.

One interesting thing I learned is not everyone here on earth during the millennium will automatically know Jesus is the Christ, or that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is his church reorganized in this last dispensation. There will still be a need for missionary work during those thousand years of peace. Individuals may not accept his Church as being the only true church. As promised from before the time we were born, we will still have a choice.

Once the thousand years have passed we will see yet another war, referred to as the Battle of Gog and Magog. I don’t know what will happen during this time, but I do know righteousness will prevail. When this war is completed Satan and his followers will at last be eternally bound, unable to influence another person again. It is at this time the children of God will stand at His throne to be judged, and we will go to one of four places:

1. Outer darkness. This will be the permanent residence of the most wicked of mankind (Sons of Perdition), those who have had a testimony of Jesus Christ and his church and lost it all, denying what they knew to be true. They will have lost the light of truth.

2. The Telestial world. This will be the permanent residence of those who chose wickedness: liars, murderers, adulterers, etc. They were given the chance to accept the gospel of Christ, chose not to, but did not deny there is a God.

3. Next is the Terrestrial world. Here will reside those who are good and honorable people who do not accept the gospel of Jesus Christ when given the opportunity in mortal life, but decide to accept it in the spirit world. It will also include LDS members who are not worthy of the highest kingdom.

4. At last we reach the Celestial glory. This belongs to faithful, baptized members of Christ's church who not only have the gift of the Holy Ghost, but did everything in their power to keep all the commandments of God. We have also been taught that within this glory there are three degrees. For more information visit:

There is so much more involved in the Plan of Salvation, but perhaps knowing these basics can help keep the final goal in sight, and help those who lack this knowledge to find hope and purpose in this life.

I would also invite any of the youth out there, if you have a question, to please write me, or visit www.lds.org or www.mormonwiki.com. Both are excellent sites and can help you gain further knowledge regarding the Plan of Salvation.

I can promise you this won’t be anything remotely close to what you might be thinking – and if it is, then we must have been created from the same mold up in heaven. I thought since my last several posts were on the more serious side, we’d take a break and laugh at…uh, I mean with me for a moment.

One of my best friends in high school was a real go-getter. There were few things in life that intimidated her. I don’t believe I ever found her unwilling to push herself into situations that made my own stomach churn. Nothing bad, mind you.

For instance, Sandra loved dances. Whether for school or church she was always ready to plunge into the water and do a bit of Guy Fishing. One of our other friends, Pam, usually trailed right behind, just as eager.

Not me. I loved to dance, but only those songs where contact with the opposite gender wasn’t necessary. Don’t get me wrong. I dearly loved the men folk. Many a daydream included a few particular specimens of interest to me.

The problem was I suffered from an extreme case of shyness coupled with a shaky self-image. At 5’2” I stood a good bit shorter than most everyone else. My height wouldn't have felt like such a burden except for the size ten body wrapped around the squat frame. There were things I loved about myself, things that helped me to know I was someone worth knowing. I just didn’t love the way I looked.

In today’s world a size ten is nothing to whine about. Fifteen years ago it felt like reason enough to join my fellow wallflowers. Too bad Sandra didn’t feel the same way.

And now I share with the world one of my embarrassing experiences.

Sandra and Pam were determined one night to get me to dance with at least one guy at a multi-stake dance (I believe they’re called regional dances now). In this effort they scanned the room for a group of three guys to attack…oops, I meant approach. Sandra asked number one. Pamela walked off with number two. Number three took one look and I swear I saw him inwardly cringe. He was just as reluctant to do this as I.

We took to the dance floor, skirting the edges, standing as far apart as possible. Not one word escaped our lips for at least a minute and a half. If that doesn’t sound long…try it sometime. It feels like an eternity. I imagine both of us were anxious for the song to end.

Get this – we haven’t even gotten to the embarrassing part yet. A fellow classmate approached. She stood at close to nine feet tall – from my lowly perspective – and had the build of a trained dancer. Right behind stood a young woman about my height and drop dead gorgeous. As if I wasn’t feeling abnormally self-conscious already.

“Hey Randy,” said the Amazonian girl. “I found her. This is Chrissy.”

At that moment I realized Randy was being ‘rescued’ and I felt promptly humiliated (not to mention a bit angry with my friends for getting me into the situation in the first place). Not having the social knowledge to sweetly release my unwilling partner, I hung on like a limp, unwanted rag. The two girls left after several agonizing seconds, and Randy and I finished the dance in frustrated silence. I couldn’t even look him in the eye as I left.

After that experience, I never – and I do mean never – let Sandra pressure me into asking someone to dance again. Especially someone I didn’t even know. I still loved to go and have a good time with my friends. It just took those awful, awkward three minutes to realize something great.

I know my limits.

The next time Sandra and Pamela picked a group of guys, number three was left standing alone.

Second only to "Where do we come from?" is the ever consuming question "Why are we here?" This question has been, is now, and will be asked by youth around the world. For those who are members of the LDS Church, or who are simply looking for answers, it is vital to know the truth in order to stay on the right track.

So why are we here on earth?

1. To gain a body of flesh and bones.
2. To gain experiences we could not otherwise obtain without that body.

At a certain point in our pre-mortal life we could go no further in knowledge or growth. Something had to be changed in order for us to continue on our path to becoming like our Heavenly Father. The only way it could happen was with a physical body. We had to be separated from our Father, to be given the chance to prove ourselves worthy of the opportunity to return.

In order to prove ourselves we needed experiences. Sometimes these experiences are extraordinary and fulfilling. Other times we question why we are asked to endure such pain.

When I was fifteen my father told me he had a lump in his neck and would be going into surgery to have it removed. Looking back I realize I didn’t fully grasp what he was really trying to say. The situation was serious.

The lump in his neck was cancerous. By the grace of God doctors caught it early enough for my dad’s life to be spared. I can’t even begin to tell you what it was like to watch him endure the chemotherapy and radiation. Yet I know for a fact he learned so much more in that awful year than he could have learned in a lifetime.

There are experiences in this mortal life we are called on to bear. Many of these things we agreed to in the pre-existence, with the realization that they would help us attain the knowledge and lessons necessary to carry us through this life. We had goals set even before we came down here, and we knew what we would have to endure to accomplish those goals.

As I have previously mentioned I wrote to some Christian friends on a bulletin board I frequent. These ladies are not of the LDS faith, and I wanted their perspective on the ideas of the Plan of Salvation. I found the concepts of these friends interesting as to our purpose here on earth.

For the most part they believe that God created us to come to earth and praise Him. If we accept Him as our Savior, we are saved through the atonement. Of course we need to do all the good works we can, though they’re not vital. One woman wrote: "Your good works will not have any bearing on your salvation status, but may win you crowns in Heaven." I admit I don’t fully understand this comment, but neither have I been raised in their church.

Elder L. Tom Perry, a leader of the LDS Church, said,

"Many people in the world today continue to struggle to find answers to life’s most basic questions. The cries of the people only grow louder and many, many times more confusing. There are so many avenues to broadcast more and more different messages. I guess it should not be surprising that people are confused.

"Centuries ago [the Apostle] Paul predicted: ‘The time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.’"

The ladies from the bulletin board kept giving me links to many sites where their ideas and views were better explained by different men and women who blatantly contradicted each other. They were indeed ‘telling fables.’ Is it any wonder the people of today are so lost, or don’t know just what to believe any more?

I was pleased to see that all of the women agreed on one thing: the importance of the atonement. About a year ago when I was very sick, both with a virus and being pregnant with my last baby, I received a blessing in which I was encouraged to study up on the Plan of Salvation. So I opened up my scriptures and looked it up in the index, thinking I’d be reading about the pre-existence, earth life, and what would come after.

Imagine my surprise when every single scripture I read spoke of the Atonement. It took a lot more studying in different books for me to grasp the reason: the entire plan is made possible through Jesus Christ. If he had never accepted the responsibility in the pre-existence, we would not have had a Savior, and coming to earth would have meant an eternal separation from our Heavenly Father.

Elder Perry said,

"He is the centerpiece of the eternal plan of the Father, the Savior who was provided as a ransom for mankind. God sent His Beloved Son to overcome the Fall of Adam and Eve. He came to earth as our Savior and Redeemer. He overcame the obstacle of physical death for us by giving up His own life. Because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, we will all be resurrected, regardless of whether we have accomplished good or evil in this life…But the glory we attain to in the next life will depend on our performance in this life."

Why are we here? We came to this earth to gain a body, to experience pain and sorrow, joy and happiness, so that we might grow into someone worthy to walk again with our Heavenly Father.

It sounds like such a simple question: Where did we come from? Yet it has been one of the most frequently asked questions of all time.

What do Mormons, or members of the LDS Church, believe? This part of the Plan of Salvation can be summed up in six steps:

1. We existed before we came to earth as spirit children of our Heavenly Father.
2. We were given opportunities to grow, learn, and develop in our premortal state.
3. When we progressed as far as possible, Heavenly Father presented us with the Plan of Salvation.
4. Lucifer offered a different plan, one where everyone could return, if all the glory were given to him. Christ sustained Heavenly Father’s plan, offering to be the savior.
5. There was a war where 1/3 of the hosts of heaven were lost. Lucifer and his followers were cast out of heaven, denied the opportunity to gain a body.
6. How do we know we chose Heavenly Father’s plan? Because we’re here on earth.

Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated: “We first heard about the plan of salvation before we were born, in what the scriptures call our first estate. What occurred in this first estate is dimly understood, but we do know that we lived there as spirits, children of our Heavenly Father, and we made certain steps of advancement to prepare for the opportunity of housing our eternal spirits in earthly bodies.”

In simple terms, we lived before we were born as spirit children of our Heavenly Father. While in the premortal life we had the chance to advance, or learn and grow, so that when it was time for us to come down to earth we’d be more prepared. Before we came down to earth we had the chance to show our love and obedience to God.

Elder Perry goes on to say, “We also know that our Father held a great council to explain the purpose of earth life. We had the opportunity of accepting or rejecting the plan of salvation. It was not forced upon us. The essence of the plan was that man would have an opportunity of working out his own salvation on earth, with God’s help.”

I would imagine even the Sunbeams (3-4 year old children) could tell us we lived with Heavenly Father before we came to earth. Heavenly Father presented us with a plan that Jesus believed in and Lucifer wanted to change. Lucifer offered a different plan. He would guarantee every soul would make it back to heaven through taking away our agency. Every person would have to do exactly as they were told. His only condition was all glory would go to him, not our Father.

There was no doubt this plan would not be allowed, but we still needed a savior. If no one stepped up to fill this position, the entire Plan was doomed to fail. Fortunately for all of us, our elder brother Jesus not only sustained our Father’s plan and offered to be our Savior, he wanted to give all glory to God.

At this point there was a war in heaven, though, no matter how much my boys would love to believe it, this war was not fought with light sabers like the characters in their favorite Star Wars movies. This war was not as simple as good fighting against evil. It was a battle fought with words and desperate attempts to convince those we loved to choose the way of agency, of eternal life. We lost a lot of souls in that war – one third of the hosts of heaven to be precise. Yet the majority of us stood strong and chose Heavenly Father’s plan.

How blessed we are to have all this knowledge of what came even before we came to earth. The remarkable path set before us that we accepted and rejoiced over. Do you know what beliefs I discovered when I polled my Christian friends from my favorite bulletin board?

Not one of them believed we existed before we came to earth. There was no learning, there was no choosing sides, there was no plan presented. God simply created spirits at the moment He put them into bodies and that is when we began.

I don’t know about you, but that idea leaves me feeling empty. There is something beautiful and fulfilling in knowing we existed before this life. We had the opportunity to grow and develop. We even had a hand in accepting certain experiences knowing they would help us continue to progress on earth.

We lived before we came to earth, of that I can testify.

One of many tough trials for young women today is staying modest in an immodest world. Fashion often dictates what’s cool and what’s not, mostly taking the ‘skin is in’ route. Just when you thought something was safe to wear, designers have expertly found a way to expose what should remain hidden.

Fortunately for those of you today who’d rather take a reasonable road when it comes to clothes, there are a few simple moves to help keep you modest, yet fashionable.

First find a full-length mirror, either in your home or at the store. Next, think back to Primary when you’re full of wiggles and your music leader just can’t take it any more. Which song is usually first on everyone’s list?

“Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.”

Head

Start by placing your hands on your head. Does your shirt hike up a little more than necessary? Check your sleeves. Do they cover the area around your arms?

Shoulders

Next put your hands on your shoulders. Is your arm area still properly covered? Notice this move stretches the shirt across your chest. Are things too tight? Are buttons threatening to pop off?

Knees

Now it’s time to touch your knees. In this glorious position rotate a full 360 degrees. You might be surprised to find your shirt falling forward in front, exposing a little more than necessary, and a not-so-lovely gap between the hem of your shirt and pants in back.

Toes

Whether you crouch down to touch them or impressively manage to reach your toes while knees are locked, you might find things gaping in places you’d never expected. If you’re wearing a skirt, how high does it hike at the hemline? If you’re wearing pants, check to see if you’re still sufficiently covered at the belt. Once again look for too much exposure in front.

Are you surprised by just how revealing your clothes are? Or did you manage to pass the test with flying colors? The good news is even if all your clothes didn’t qualify, there are little ways to make them work. No need to start a whole new wardrobe.

Once you’ve found what works and what doesn’t, improve on your look to put together the most trendy outfits possible. Layers are still very in, and are a fantastic way to cover up the bare spots without completely emptying out your bank account. There are also many places now that specialize in modest clothing.

So the next time you’re shopping for the newest and coolest, don’t forget to check things from head to toe so you won’t be left with any unexpected surprises.