Teens & Seminary

Finding opportunities to serve can be difficult with some people, especially when any offer to provide a service is turned down.

There are those who will decline. We could easily become offended, though it has more to do with our own personal feelings of rejection. It’s never easy to be told no. At times like these it’s important to keep in mind we don’t know the cause behind the refusal. It could be as simple as those we want to serve don’t have anything that needs to be done. If they are in a time of grieving they may not be in a state of mind to think of ways others can help out.

Several years ago my husband and I unexpectedly lost a baby just after he was born. We were, needless to say, devastated and in no proper frame of mind to come up with ways to be served by the sweet brothers and sisters in our ward (word for a large congregation within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).

Those who decline may also be much like my husband and I, who don’t want to put anyone else out. We feel so bad when we have to ask for help. To have others volunteer their time and energy to come and do things we could very well do ourselves is very difficult for us. We’re working on this, I promise. After all, how can others enjoy the blessings of serving others when those ‘others’ refuse to be served?

So what do you do when those you want to help is less than agreeable?

Look for the little things.

Think of 1 Nephi 16:29 in the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ:

“…And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things.”

My next-door neighbor died recently. He was on the liver transplant list, but his health declined drastically as the colder weather settled in. At any point of the day we would see two or three cars parked at the house, so we knew his darling wife didn’t want for company.

My husband and I have offered many times to help out, but the truth is there’s not much we can do besides lend moral support. This has made it necessary to look for something little I can do.

Monday morning is garbage pickup day in our area. Typically by the time I get back home from dropping my kids off at school the garbage truck has made its’ rounds and the cans are ready to be brought back in. I always start with my neighbor to the right. It’s not that she can’t bring them in herself, but at 74 years young she is usually working and unable to do it herself first thing in the morning. After her can is in I pull in my own.

Then I head to my other neighbors and bring in both of theirs, grabbing their newspaper along the way to toss it up on their porch.

It sounds a little lame, doesn’t it? Bringing in garbage cans isn’t exactly changing the world. That’s not the point. So far as I can tell my neighbors don’t know I do this, which is okay. I’m not doing it for recognition. I do it because I sincerely desire to serve my spirit brothers and sisters. I do it because I love my neighbors. I do it because of my love for Jesus Christ.

“…Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40).

Don’t snub the little acts of service. Even the little things help.

With November being the month Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, a day of gratitude, I though it might be a nice idea to discuss a delightful, yet sadly dying, skill. The art of the ‘Thank You’ note.

A few years ago a woman played the most beautiful piano number during our Sacrament Meeting. This sister had been playing the piano for over fifty years. As you might imagine her talent was certainly extraordinary, the testament of which could be viewed in the faces of the congregation. More than a few eyes shed tears that day.

Several days later I still found myself thinking about her beautiful piece, the mere memory of it moving me even then. I pulled out a plain piece of colored paper, sat down, and wrote her a little note to thank her for what her simple (for her) act had done for me.

The next Sunday this sister sought me out, gave me a hug, and thanked me for my note. Her next words shocked and amazed me.

“In over fifty years of playing the piano, that is the first thank you note I’ve ever received. Thank you.”

I couldn’t have been more stunned. All her remarkable talent she had shared for more years than I had been alive (times two) and I was the very first person to send her a card of gratitude. It touched and saddened me all at the same time.

The light in her eyes as she expressed her appreciation stirred something deep within me, and I began to formulate a plan. With what little money I had managed to save I bought a few packs of note cards as well as a good supply of stamps. From that day forward I began to look for those who could use a good ‘Thank you.’

It wasn’t always easy. There were times I’d go for several weeks with not finding someone, or I’d simply forget to look. Then there was the actual act of writing the note. At times the tiny little 3x4 card looked horribly small, making it difficult to fit my flood of words in such a teensy space. My handwriting would become very small in order to make room for everything I wished to say.

Other times the exact same sized cards appeared dreadfully large. I’d even taken to putting stickers on one side so I wouldn’t feel the pressure to fill it all up. My handwriting became larger when I found myself floundering for words. The lack of ideas of what to write came more from not knowing the person very well, being unable to draw from shared experiences.

That got me thinking. I might not know these people very well, but the Lord does. Therein came the drastic difference in how I approached my note writing. Each Saturday night, and again on Sunday morning, I began to pray to my Heavenly Father to show me who He thought needed a thank you.

I can testify to the blessings this one small and simple act has brought, not only to their lives, but to mine as well. I have made friends of people who were once strangers. They have become important voices in my life, and I am grateful for the spiritual nudge from our Heavenly Father, which set me on this track.

So what makes a good ‘Thank You note’?

1. Obviously, start off with their name. If it’s someone older than you, don’t address them by their first name, unless you’ve been invited to. Stick to Sister ______ or Brother ______. This presents them with respect.

2. Put down why you’re writing this person. It could be something as simple as, “I just wanted to say thank you for your talk on Sunday”, or something to that respect.

3. Next tell this person why their talk, or musical number, or act of kindness, or lesson touched you so much. This helps fill in space and gives the note an extra personal touch.

4. Find a good way to sum your note up. This will often echo your beginning sentence. For example, “I can’t tell you how much I appreciated your talk.”

5. Last, but not least, sign your card. Use both your first and last name, this way if the recipient keeps the note he/she will have a better reference as to who sent it. You’re welcome to put in ‘Sincerely’, ‘Love’, or ‘With thanks’. You could also come up with something all your own. I often put a little heart right before my name.

Though it may feel awkward and a little weird at first, if you feel the impression to write someone a note do not ignore it. You never know how such a simple act can influence the lives of those around you.

It may not seem like an opportunity for service, but ask any missionary what one of their favorite things in the world are, and they'll say letters.

As a senior in high school I was seriously considering the possibility of going on a mission when I turned twenty-one. My older brother had recently left on his own mission to Japan, and the thought of experiencing a different country or at the very least, a different culture within the United States, intrigued me.

Being a self-proclaimed introvert, the mere thought of tracting door to door terrified me. Putting myself out there for possible rejection was not something I longed to do.

When expressing these feelings to my dad, he gave me a great suggestion: try writing to a missionary (one besides my brother). We had about four or five ward missionaries out in the field at that time.

Like most other decisions in my life, I put it off for a while. It nested in the back of my mind, however, and every once in a while I’d pull the thought out and see how it fit. Most of the time I’d put it back and wait for a while longer.

Turns out someone else had a different plan for me.

One day I received a letter in the mail from an Elder Aaron Ashby from the Billings Montana mission. I had no idea who he was, nor how he’d gotten my name. Turns out his companion Elder Evans was a young man from my ward. A package Elder Evans received from his family had included a tape of a Sacrament Meeting the youth had put on, and I was one of the speakers. Elder Ashby thought I sounded pretty cool and wanted to get to know me a little better.

Talk about a spiritual nudge. I immediately showed my dad, who smiled as though saying, “See? I really do have good ideas.” That very day I wrote this missionary back.

A few days later I received another letter filled with even more surprises. As it turns out Elder Ashby wasn’t really Elder Ashby. He was so nervous about writing me he took his middle name and his companion’s middle name and stuck them together. Elder Ashby was really Elder Helser from Arizona.

I laughed, and promptly wrote him back, thus beginning our eighteen-month friendship. He had been out only six months and his enthusiasm was awesome. I learned so much from this young man, and even got to meet him at the end of his mission.

Writing to missionaries didn’t stop there for me. As I went off to college there was a bulletin board filled with missionary names and addresses at the local institute. My group of friends each picked out two or three of them to write, wanting to help with their morale (missionaries LOVE letters). I met two new friends with whom I shared many letters.

Whether it’s someone in your own ward, a family member, or a friend of a friend, I encourage all youth to try writing to missionary. I especially recommend it for those young men who plan on going on a mission. Don’t be afraid to ask any and all questions. You can learn so much from their personal experiences. Young women might try to find a sister missionary to write to gain a woman’s insight into the experience. Keep a copy of the letters you send them as well (I wish I had done so).

Either way, you’ll find yourselves blessed by their letters, and they will greatly appreciate yours.

It’s been several years since that first letter came to my mailbox, but I still treasure the memory of my good friend and have kept every letter he sent.

Did you know the fourth Saturday in October is always Make a Difference Day? This Saturday, Oct. 20, is that very day.

There are billions of ways to help make a difference in the lives or community around you. Throughout this week I’d encourage you to look for ways to serve.

One summer there had been some terrible fires along the city lines of Murray, Utah. As a youth we decided to volunteer, along with the youth of many other stakes, to plant trees in the area where growth began to recover.

It was long. It was tedious. It was backbreaking...and it was totally worth it. We brought shovels, the organization we worked through provided the trees, and together we set out to bring new life to this badly wounded area.

All in all it took just a few hours. We even got hot cocoa and donuts afterward. To this day I am able to drive past that area and say, “I helped plant those trees.”

The young women in our ward put together a Halloween Party for the Primary children. They had fun games like donuts tied to strings. The children then had to try and eat the donuts without using their hands. Sure it's messy, but so much fun! The children were invited to dress up in their costumes, though it wasn't necessary. My own kids had an absolute blast, and the added benefit of feeling loved by the young women.

Service on this day doesn’t have to be on such a grand scale. Keep in mind places closer to home. Do you have a neighbor in need? It’s not too hard to look for leaves piling up on a lawn, or a lawn that could use a quick mowing. As the growing season is coming to an end volunteer to help pull up someone’s garden, or prune some rosebushes. Is it your ward’s turn to clean the building? If so, make an effort to go help, even if you haven’t signed up.

What about in your own home? Could you help clean the house without being asked (or nagged)? What about offering to wash the dishes after a meal, even if it’s not your turn? Does your own lawn need a good mowing or raking?

Try baking some cookies and enlisting family members to help take them around to friends or neighbors. Do you have a younger sibling who could use some one-on-one time? You’d be surprised what a difference your undivided attention can make.

No matter how you decide to do it, look for at least one way to make a difference. The blessings will come not only to the one you serve, but to you as well.