Teens & Seminary

It was a defining moment in our recent Sunday School class. We had been talking about the need and value of repentance, of the happiness it can bring to those who come back to the light and love of Christ, of the need to let go of the things of this world, when a woman raised her hand.

"I have a sister who turned away from the gospel years ago," she began. "She lives her life in a way she was not taught growing up, and makes choices that go against many of Christ's teachings."

I began to wonder precisely where this conversation was going, and could feel the intensity of this woman's need to be given a firm answer.

"She has more money than I could ever dream of. She's traveled all over, she has had opportunities opened up for her left and right. I can't see that she's not happy."

This woman paused for a moment, gathering herself. "My husband and I barely get by. We sometimes wonder where money will come from to pay the bills. I hardly see him for all the hours he works, and so much of the time I'm miserable."

Before I go to the answer our teacher gave, I want you to take a moment to think of your own life. Which of these two women do you relate to more? Do you spend much of your time doing everything, obtaining objects, living life to it's fullest?

Or do you find yourself spending much of your time watching others have everything, others who do not live up to your same standards, while you stand miserably to the side barely scraping by?

Is there really a way to have less in this life and still be happy?

Our teacher helped bring a very special point home.

"The things of this world are in your face," she said. "They're too loud, they're too bright and shiny, they're too showy, they're simply too much."

Why is this concept important? Because of the second part of the answer.

"Things that bring us true and everlasting happiness, otherwise known as things of the Spirit, those are found in the quiet times of our lives."

We are taught the voice of the Lord, or the influence of the Holy Spirit, comes to us as a whisper. When we've put much of our focus on the things of the world we've innundated ourselves with television, with video games, with flashy clothes and jewelry. We're more concerned with having the best car rather than finding peace.

If you feel unsatisfied in life, if you've been growing bitter over not having everything your friends have, search for the quiet moments in your life. Listen for the quiet whisperings of the Holy Spirit. As you do this, you will find peace instead of jealousy, love instead of misery.

“But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance” (1 Nephi 1:20).

I’ve been thinking about tender mercies a lot lately. They’ve been thrust up in my face lately. In a good way, that is.

We all have trials. It’s simply a way of life, and one of the most effective ways for us to learn and grow spiritually. Sometimes we bring these trials on ourselves through our own choices. Other times the harsh lessons of life are learned through the choices of others, and the effects of those choices on us.

Closely connected to both of these are the lessons we learn through experiences our Heavenly Father asks us to endure.

Recently someone known by my family lost a son-in-law in a plane crash. This son-in-law and his wife had recently had a baby. The crash was tragic, heart-rending, and world shattering for those who loved him. It took the couple’s bishop (lay clergyman) to help this young widow and the extended family search for the tender mercies of the Lord. He told them if they looked they could find little ways in which they were being prepared for this awful event. The bishop encouraged each family member to write these things down, so they might be strengthened in their struggles.

So what are the tender mercies of the Lord? David A. Bednar, latter-day apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church), asks and answers this very question.

“Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits ‘his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men’ (D&C 46:15)” (David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord,” Ensign, May 2005, 99).

As teens in this world today, you are asked to endure, to fight against, to protect yourself from things your parents can barely begin to imagine, just as their parents could not comprehend what being a teen was like all those years ago. You have been saved for this time, because your spirits are vastly strong. If you choose to follow the Lord’s way, Satan will be hard pressed to sway you otherwise. Unfortunately, this will not stop him from trying.

They key word in that paragraph is choose. We always have a choice. If we continually strive to choose the Lord’s way, He will prepare us and strengthen us through His tender mercies, “to make [us] mighty even unto the power of deliverance.” In fact, I know that even when we haven’t been following His path, He will often send us strength through reminders to come back to Him.

My challenge to you is the same of the bishop who counseled the grieving family. If you have been, are now, or will one day face trials that seem unbearable, take time out to actively look for the tender mercies of the Lord. Look for ways you were prepared beforehand. Search for things that are helping you now. Be ready to recognize the little blessings that are to come. It may take time for some of us to find the good things, but with much prayer and practice, looking for tender mercies can become second nature.

Then, perhaps, we can say with firm testimony, “Each of us can have eyes to see clearly and ears to hear distinctly the tender mercies of the Lord as they strengthen and assist us in these latter days. May our hearts always be filled with gratitude for His abundant and tender mercies” (David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord,” Ensign, May 2005, 99).