Are Mormons Allowed to Have Fun?
Filed under: Basic Beliefs of Mormons, Finding Happiness, Living the Gospel, Service Opportunities, Teens & Seminary, Youth Programs
Are Mormons allowed to have fun? Of course we are–but our concept of fun might take a little getting used to.
For Mormons, having fun includes serving
When I first became a Mormon, someone asked what I did for fun, since I didn’t drink, smoke, use drugs, or participate in a number of other activities common to college students. When I teasingly—but truthfully–told him I’d been on a hayride the night before, he stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. He didn’t think that sounded like fun, but it had been (and it was where I met my husband, making it even more fun in retrospect.) I became Mormon the last year of high school, and soon after starting to visit Mormon activities, I said to a friend, “I’ve figured out why Mormon teens don’t get into trouble. They don’t have time.” I was always busy with the Church’s many activities for teens, including dances, parties, sports, service projects, campouts, and canoe trips.. There was always something fun to do and something new to work on. Read more
Using Agency Wisely: Consequences
Filed under: For the Strength of the Youth, Life Lessons, Making Decisions, Old Testament
In order to learn to make wise use of our eternal gift of agency, we must understand that each choice we make has consequences. These consequences can affect our entire lives and even our eternities. They also affect others. When we learn to evaluate the consequences of our choices, we are better able to make wise choices and get the most from our agency.
In the past, many Mormons used the term “free agency” to describe our God-given right to choose for ourselves. Today, church leaders discourage that term, because agency is not free, and they want us to understand this. Instead, they encourage the use of the term “moral agency.” Read more
Eternally Safe Choices–Undertanding Agency
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Discovering Yourself, Finding joy within the gospel, For the Strength of the Youth, Living the Gospel, Making Decisions, Peer Pressure, Teens & Seminary
The teen years are filled with temptation. The media, peers, even teachers and other adults can try to convince a young person that sin is okay, natural, normal, and fun. For a teenager with high standards and an eye for eternity, it can be a challenge to stay on the right path, when so many people are determined to take her off that path. Fortunately, God and His servants have outlined effective ways for teens—and adults—to stay safe.
Staying safe is a matter of choices, and to make wise choices, we have to understand the concept of agency. This article will focus on agency, and future articles in this series will walk through the process of using that understanding to make eternally safe choices. Read more
Reading the Book of Mormon to Learn Virtue
Filed under: Book of Mormon, Jesus Christ, Young Women
Recently, we’ve been studying how the Mormons are teaching their teenagers to live a virtuous life. The girls-and in some areas, the boys-work to achieve goals in a number of areas known as values. The newest value is virtue. As part of completing the Virtue Value, the teenagers are asked to read the entire Book of Mormon. Read more
Prepare Now to Enter the Temple
In our continuing series on the new Virtue value program for the Young Women in the Mormon Church, we today focus on the requirement to prepare to go to the temple. Many people wonder about Mormon temples and what happens inside them. What are young girls expected to do to prepare to attend? Read more
Virtue and the Holy Ghost
In this series of articles on virtue, we’ve been exploring the Young Women’s program for Mormon teenagers. The girls-and in some countries, the boys-participate in a program called Personal Progress, in which they set and achieve goals. Some are chosen for them, and others are of their own choosing. The goals are centered around a series of values God wants the girls to achieve. The newest value is that of virtue. We are studying, in these articles, the requirements for completing the Virtue value.
The second requirement focuses on the Holy Ghost, called by some the Holy Spirit. Read more
What is Virtue?
The Young Women’s program, for Mormon teenagers, recently added a new value to the list of values the girls strive to integrate into their lives. This is the value of virtue. Today, virtue is in great danger, as teenagers are often taught, even by those in authority, that it isn’t realistic, practical, or valuable. Because they won’t learn about it in school or in the media, the church has stepped up its efforts to encourage its youth to live virtuous lives.
“Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue includes modesty-in thought, language, dress, and demeanor. Virtue provides an anchor on the path leading to our Heavenly Father’s presence. The paths of virtue lead to happiness in this life and in the life to come. The paths of virtue lead to strong families. The paths of virtue contain the foundation stones for the blessings of eternity. They lead to the temple. No wonder Joseph Smith said, “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things” (Articles of Faith 1:13).
Elaine S. Dalton, “Cherish Virtue,” New Era, Mar 2009, 16-17
Within the church, virtue is not mocked or seen as outdated or unrealistic. Sister Dalton points out there are millions of young men and women around the world leading lives of virtue of their own choosing. Despite the pressures of the world, and the “assurances” of some irresponsible adults, these teenagers know it is entirely possible to live a life of moral purity if you are careful in your choices and if you plan for the standards you want to live.
LDS teenagers are taught to guard against anything that might cause them to risk their virtue. They are taught to carefully consider the videos and music they spend time with, to avoid locations that invite temptation, and to choose friends who respect their values. They learn not to date too soon, and then to avoid dating situations that can cause them to falter.
Teenagers are helped by a booklet given to them when they turn twelve, called “For the Strength of Youth.” In this booklet, they are given guidelines for living a virtuous life. A card with the highlights is placed in their wallets for instant reference when needed.
Following are some of the advice the youth are given in this book:
- 1. Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. Dating before then can lead to immorality, limit the number of other young people you meet, and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner.
- 2. Have the courage to walk out of a movie or video party, turn off a computer or television, change a radio station, or put down a magazine if what is being presented does not meet Heavenly Father’s standards. Do these things even if others do not.
- 3. Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient.
Some advice is general in nature, other advice is very specific. Taken as a whole, it gives a teenager a clear understanding of what God expects of them and of how to guard their virtue. The rules apply to both boys and girls. The Lord does not have different standards of virtuous behavior for one gender over the other. Both boys are girls are given full responsibility for their own virtue, while at the same time, they’re taught to help others maintain their virtue as well.
Over the next few weeks, we’ll take a look at the virtue and how the girls will be learning to implement it into their lives through the Personal Progress program.
The Personal Progress Program for Mormon Teens
The Mormons have a program for teenage girls called Personal Progress. It allows girls to set and carry out challenging goals in several areas of personal development. In some parts of the program, they choose their own goals. In others, they carry out goals set for them. Both help them learn to spend their time in meaningful ways, learn self-discipline, and develop the habit of always progressing.
Each section of the program is defined by a value the church would like the girls to develop in their own lives. Currently, the values are: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual, Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works and, Integrity. Recently, virtue was also added as a value.
The motto for this program is “Stand for truth and righteousness.” The logo is a lit torch, representing the light of Christ. The girls are encouraged to remember, through this logo, to keep the commandments of God, thus holding up the light of Jesus Christ.
The girls participate in the program between the ages of twelve and eighteen. During the program, they complete six value experiences and one value project for each of the values. They are also required to keep a journal, maintain high moral standards, and put their testimony in writing.
Experiences are smaller activities the girls choose from to help them improve their ability to follow the Savior. Following are some examples of experiences the girls can choose from:
- Girls can plant, grow, and harvest a vegetable garden. As the do so, they’re to focus on the teaching that faith is like a seed. They are to study how this is so as they work in their garden.
- Girls can choose to spend two weeks strengthening their relationship with a family member, including refraining from criticism.
- Girls can record their goals for their life, and then make a plan to help them reach those goals.
- Girls can perform a three hour service project that benefits people outside their own home.
In addition to the experiences, girls also plan a series of more complex projects. They do one project for each value and each project must require ten hours or more to complete. This means that over the course of their teen years, they will devote eighty hours to these projects. Project possibilities include:
- 1. Receive training in first aid or other emergency response skills.
- 2. Plan a dance or activity that includes dance training and wholesome music, atmosphere, and lighting.
- 3. Learn how to be admitted to college and how to pay for it. Apply at the appropriate time.
- 4. Learn a homemaking skill and then teach it to someone else.
Girls work with their youth leaders and parents in planning and carrying out the program. They’re expected to follow appropriate patterns of planning so they emerge from the program ready for adulthood and its responsibilities. If they finish the program early, they can continue to work on additional projects. They can also offer to help another girl with her program, which again teaches leadership and service.
Because the Mormons have a lay church, everyone serves. By beginning to train our young women to serve others, to lead, and to be independent and self-reliant, we prepare them for all the demands of adult life, marriage, parenthood, church leadership, and community service, as well as careers.
Finding Yourself
When I was a teenager, it was common for young people to talk about trying to “find themselves.” While this was seemingly a worthwhile project, most teenagers and young adults searched for themselves in all the wrong places. For some, it was nothing more than an excuse to experiment with sin or waste a great deal of time.
To find ourselves, we don’t have to travel to a foreign country or hang out with people who frighten our parents. We need to look to our heritage. We are all children of God, and we can’t find ourselves until we start looking in the places where He lives. When we begin our search with our creator, we soon figure out there really is a purpose to this life, and it’s a wonderful one.
God planned for us to come to earth, and it wasn’t a random science experiment. We had lived with Him before our birth, and had grown and progressed during that time. We had talents and personality and interests, some of which came with us to earth. But we needed more. We needed a body and a family. We needed to test ourselves, to see if we could keep it all together when we were away from Home. So He sent us here.
To find ourselves, we need to look at who we really are. We’re a child of God. What does that mean? As children of Heavenly Parents, we have a divine and royal heritage. Did you ever dream of being a prince or a princess? God is your king, and so your dream has come true. However, being this type of a prince or princess doesn’t mean dressing up in fancy clothes or waving to adoring crowds. It comes with responsibility. We have a responsibility to live up to the standards God set for us, to become everything He dreamed of for us.
So how do we do all of this? First, we have to put some work into the preparation. How much time every day do you spend learning about God and Jesus? If you aren’t spending any time with them, and the time isn’t meaningful, you aren’t going to have any idea how much they love you or what they want from you. You need to get to know them by reading scriptures, studying the words of their chosen leaders, and praying in meaningful ways.
Only a personal prayer that is spoken in the words of your own heart can teach you how to communicate with God. Say what’s in your heart and don’t turn to pre-written prayers or repetitious phrases. Then sit quietly and listen for answers. They come in the form of peaceful feelings or uneasy ones, but they are the clues about whether or not you’re making the right choices. If you tell God what you have planned, and you feel warm and safe inside when you’re sitting quietly and waiting for the answer, you know He’s pleased with your choice. If you’re uneasy as you wait, or as you carry out the plans you made without waiting, you’ll know you’re on the wrong path. The Holy Ghost places those feelings in your heart. He can also give you a reassurance of God’s love for you.
The next thing we have to do is to spend our time in meaningful ways. Visit God at least once a week in his home-go to church. Why not a Mormon church, which has a strong program for Mormon teenagers and their friends? Spend time serving his other children. Serving others helps us find ourselves more quickly than sitting and thinking does. From service, we learn to appreciate what we have. We see in those we help a model of courage, strength, and humility. We give something back for what we’ve received. We even learn more about how God feels when He’s helping us, and we learn more about what we’re capable of.
There is, of course, a place for introspection. Many people find it helpful to keep a journal. Rather than simply recording what they did, they record how those activities made them feel, what they learned from them, and how they plan to improve in what they’re doing. They pay attention, in their writing, to who they are becoming. If they whine about service, they might later notice this is a place they can improve. If they do three service projects and one of them has them so fulfilled and excited they can’t wait to do it again, they may have found a passion or a talent.
Identifying passions is part of finding ourselves, but it’s important to find a passion worthy of a child of a royal heritage. Feeding the hungry, teaching a child, planting a garden…these are passions worthy of a child of God.
When you find your passions, and you know your God, you’ll find yourself.
A Brand New Year
The Mormons have a new website for teenagers. While aimed at Mormon teens, there are aspects of it that will appeal to teens of any faith. The website is called A Brand New Year and is designed to help teenagers make this a really great year where they commit themselves to the Lord.
The button labeled “Read” takes you to material from the New Era, a shiny magazine just for teenagers. You can subscribe to it, but it’s also free on the Internet. A story is featured each month on this part of the website, and there is a link to the archives, where you can read more. This magazine is about ordinary teenagers, as well as those who are Mormon and famous, but it’s primary purpose is to help teens as they learn to be more Christ-like in an increasingly challenging world.
A major stage production was produced to launch the website and the new year, and by clicking the Watch button, you can take a peek at the rehearsals, watch what happened backstage, and see pictures of each of the performances.
Then watch the show. You can watch it in segments, allowing you to see it as you have time. It’s a mixture of music and thoughts by teenagers, who talk about things Mormon youth have done throughout the previous years—which can give you ideas for things you can do yourself—and also help them make great plans for the coming year. If you like the music, you can download the MP3s at no charge, and even put widgets on your online spaces, such as Facebook or your website.
Do you have some goals for the coming year? Print out and sign commitment cards you can place in your bedroom, your notebook, or anywhere else you’ll see them often. These will help you become who you want to become.
Are you studying the scriptures this year? Click on the resources button and find links to the books of scriptures used by Mormon teens, including the King James Bible. On the individual pages for each book of scripture, you’ll find fun things to help you study—reading charts, bookmarks, games, even music.
This website will give you a glimpse into how Mormon teenagers live their lives. If what they do looks fun to you, you’re always welcome to drop in for a visit. Most wards (congregations) have a weeknight activity open to anyone who wants to attend. They also have Sunday classes and often have activities on Saturday as well. There are summer camps and youth conferences, dances, fireside devotionals, and early morning scripture study classes. There are service projects going on regularly. Boys participate in the Boy Scouts. In other words, there is so much to do you won’t have time to be bored or to get into trouble. There’s no commitment, and almost everything can be done by people who aren’t members of the church. If you don’t know any Mormons, you can contact the church and learn where to go by visiting Find a Meetinghouse. From there, someone will be happy to tell you what’s happening and meet you at the door when you arrive. From there, other teens will take you under their wings and show you what to do.